It has been a few days since I've been to the gym. For some reason or the other, I'm startled to type this myself, I'm not feeling like going to the gym. For example, today morning I felt like typing a few blog entries. As soon as I started remembering what happened in the last month and half or so, I started feeling down and depressed. I guess I really can't help but feel that way. But I want to update the blog anyhow. I think that will give me an opportunity to deal with the situation with more maturity. Besides, I'm already on anti-depressant medications.
Basically, nothing interesting is happening in my life these days. I type in some blog entries every now and then. I read the newspapers thoroughly. Sometimes, I even read the NYTimes as much as I want. Then comes the jamming. Most of the times, it is also not as interesting as it used to be. Must be something to do with the eviction of S. and shit.
Anyway, after my blog entry, I slept off again. I am ashamed that I got up at 10.30 by the calling bell. Maid had come and she made breakfast for me. I got up lazily and had my couple of toasts with a 5 egg white - 1 egg yellow omlette. S. was still sleeping in the living room with the a/c blast. I turned it off, pulled the drapes, opened the windows and sat reading the newspaper and watching the news channels. Again, anything relating to NY or Americas pulled me into feeling how unfortunate that I was.
I am basically stuck to my life here. I don't have an option to go be with him. I don't think that there is any reason to believe that he can be here any soon. In fact, the more that I think of it, the less likely it seems that he will come back to India.
Apart from that, I have been trying to talk to him as often as I could. There is a period in the night (EST) when I can't call him. I talked to him for 10 minutes each twice today. Basically he is very scared why he is feeling so tired. A new drug which has been added to his regimen since the last few days is causing tiredness and sleepiness in the morning. But the same drug is causing him to have a good night's sleep. I am trying my best to get him to be as cheerful as I can.
We love each other. We want be with each other. But we can't. Life's like that.
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