Movies and Moments

Some of my most cherished moments in life are set in movie theaters while watching movies. Most of these times are when I go to watch movies on my own, but that could be because most of the time I go to movies without company.

In fact, I think that watching movies alone is the best way to watch good-to-great movies. By that, I mean that I have a lower threshold than most movie connoisseurs (or critics) for what I consider as high quality. Strangely, I have a high threshold for people who I consider as quality, and to be honest, an extremely small number of the people that I know have made the cut.

I am very often overcome with emotions--mostly positive--while watching non-blockbuster movies. For someone who struggles to find anything meaningfully moving in life, these are precious.

Today, I went to the movies with J to watch Ford vs. Ferrari. This was one of the few movies that we end up watching that we both badly wanted to watch. But we couldn't figure logistics out to watch when it initially released. In such cases, I'm the one who regularly checks listings for movies that pique my interest on my IMDB browsings.

Thanks to the locality that I live in, which features within walking distance three of the best movie theaters in Mumbai in terms of the variety and show options, we were able to get ourselves to the lone afternoon show.

I'm not too much into cars and automobiles. So I wasn't too chuffed to have finally managed to get myself to go watch it. Well at least until the movie started. Each time Ken Miles and Carroll Shelby overcame the odds and adversities, I cried. Must have been four or five times.

Source: https://i.redd.it/t3tktn59m2x31.jpg

The last time I cried in a non-movie setting was about 2 years ago when the ambulance with my father's corpse rolled out of my sister's apartment building complex and my sister and mother started wailing. I was strong and I was able to get a handle on my tears in a few seconds.

Side Notes:

1. While I was writing this post, I realized that there is a pattern to these. I started having such momements around the time my first official depression episode. It's almost as if my depression puts a cap on my emotions which is popped open only when I find myself in an immersive state of watching/reading well-enacted/well-written powerful stories with very little "trim-the-fat" requirements.
2. J wonders whether my lack of empathy and inaccessibility to regular emotions is because of antidepressant medications. Unlikely, because I'm on a mood stabilizer that does not seem to have such side effects.
3. I want to move out of fucking Mumbai. To the middle of nowhere. Where there are less people and there is less noise. And I think I'll be at least less unhappy in such a place. The only thing that I'll miss Bombay for is the movie-going luxury--that is if can't find this in where I would move to.
4. The movies that I have had such experiences that I immediately recall are:
1. 12 Years a Slave
2. Article 15
3. A Star is Born
4. A Single Man
5. Babel
6. Bohemian Rhapsody
7. Brokeback Mountain
8. Capote
9. Crash
10. Gully Boy
11. Imitation Game
12. Interstellar
13. La La Land
14. Little Miss Sunshine
15. Midnight in Paris
16. Milk
17. Munich
18. Rocket-man
19. Sideways
20. Silver Linings Playbook
21. The Aviator
22. The Departed
23. The Green Book
24. The Theory of EverythingThree Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
25. Whiplash