The reason why we had chosen 21st as the date for our meeting was because of a 'Noise Market' gig which was coming up on the 23rd of March, 2008. Vinokur couldn't make it earlier. I didn't want him to miss the gig. 22nd would have been on the eve of the gig and we didn't want to risk anything on that date. So as usual, we had our practice session in the evening. I was totally energized by his presence. And probably as a side effect, we were doing good.
I had woken up late (at around 10 AM) and had found him smiling at me. I asked him when he had woken up; we had another session of amor before hitting the sack. He said he had woken up many hours ago and was trying to make something to eat. He had eaten an apple or two and had some chocolate ice cream that I had bought. He was not feeling all that well and wanted to sleep and get used to the new time schedule. I wanted us to venture out into the open and do some shopping and stuff. But he didn't want to do it. He said that he was feeling shaky and it was too hot.
Then the maid came. We had to dress up . Then, I introduced her to Vinokur. She was visibly surprised that my friend had turned out to be a handsome geront. She made some dishes for us and then left. I loitered around for a few more hours with him. We weren't involved in any intelligent conversation I remember. We discussed about the journey, how fortunate we were etc. He said that the house was lovely and that he thinks he'll get used to living here pretty soon. The only thing that he wanted was an internet connection which would set his world right. I already had an internet connection with Sahaab's laptop attached to it. To get his Macbook, we needed to install a router. We put that off for until the gig.
He had taken another set of pills in the morning hours hoping to catch some sleep. But that hadn't worked out. Just before I left for practice, he demanded me to get him a strip of the blue pills. He would try to sleep after taking two of those pills and would only want to be awakened after I came home. I decided that it was the only way out of the situation and gave him a pill. I asked him not to repeat the dosage until I came at least. I also asked him to not venture out of the house because he might lock himself out. He found it difficult to dial numbers and therefore, I dialled my mobile number on the land line so that he could use the redial function and call me in need. After all, I'd only be gone for a few hours.
During the practice most of the time, my mind was with him. I was wondering how he was doing. Was he still sleepy and groggy? Would he have eaten something? Would he injure himself by stumbling on something in the small cramped apartment with all the bags lying on the floor? Would he take more pills and knock himself out? I was freaking out. But I still kept my composure.
When I came back home, it was a rush of emotions; fear, hope, expectation, worry. I was glad to find the kitchen light on (I had turned of all the lights) before I left. I unlocked the door and I called out his name. No answer. Once more. No answer. Oh boy, what am I going to do! I kicked out the shoes and rushed in and unlocked the door. I found him lying on the bed with his shorts on sleeping peacefully. He was breathing alright! He had tried to get his ipod out to listen. He had got his earplugs on. The clothes were lying on the floor. The kitchen had an unfinished bowl of grapes, a glass of orange juice, a few crumbs of cake on the floor and the refrigerator door was ajar. I was glad and relieved that he had eaten something and had slept. His dentures were both lying on the floor by the bed.
Then I saw the strip of pills by the side of his bed. Out of the strip of 7, 5 had gone! He had taken three more! I was frightened at the prospect of overdosage. As I was getting into bed, he woke up and looked at me and said. 'Oh honey, I'm so happy that you are back. I had a terrible time trying to sleep. I tried eating something. But nothing would put me to sleep.' I kissed him on his lips and said, 'It's alright Allie, I'm back now'. We spent some time talking about what had happened. Apparently, he was getting bored and couldn't find anything to do in the apartment to keep himself engaged. He had tried reading the NYTimes on the laptop but couldn't figure out how to browse to another page. He had tried to ring me up but the phone didn't work.
I knew that he was not well. I knew that he was showing symptoms like those he showed after the fall at the supermarket a week back. I asked him to move out of bed and to walk. He was not able to walk properly. He was stumbling. I thought that it was due to the extra doses of the drug he took. He seemed to think that it was because of the suddent shift of places and time. He also attributed it to the side effect of the injection that he had been taking. I asked him if he wanted something to eat. He said no. I decided to eat the food that the maid had made and I said he should try it out. I finally agreed to have a little.
I warmed up a couple of plates of rice and daal (pulse) and the sabji (vegetable side dish). We sat at the table on which the laptop was kept. I noticed that he was finding it difficult to feed himself. He was spilling the stuff and was not able to get food into his mouth. He wasn't able to drink water of a glass easily. And on top of it all, he seemed distracted and had a blank expression on his face. He didn't eat much and after we finished, I put the dishes away.
He went back into bed. I undressed and joined him and we hugged and kissed. He said that he was not in a great mood for sex or anything. I loved the feeling of his warmth by me. He smelled like heaven. I stroked his arms and legs and slowly but surely we both were getting turned on. Soon we were like two teenage kids grunting and moaning. I was 'deflowered' in the same act and I loved it! Vinokur had his way of making love and he won hands down in the love department.
He and I were both tired at the end of it all. It was close to 5 AM and as I switched off the lights, he said he wanted more of the blue pills. I said no. I said that it was too much of a dose for anyone to take in a single day. He said there was no other way. He wouldn't sleep if he didn't have it. He said that there is nothing that he could do at the apartment while I slept and therefore, I had to agree to give him the dose. I knew I was doing something wrong. But I didn't have an option and we agreed to try and decrease the dosage in the coming days as and when he got used to India and he had more things to do (like browsing on the computer).
We drifted off to sleep hugging each other... I never wanted to be anywhere else but in his arms!
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