The Costume Party

Today I did something totally cool. A Costume Party!

Today was T.'s Christmas meets New Year's Costume Party. She had invited the whole of the Psychiatry Department and just me from outside. To start thing off, I didn't have even the faintest of ideas as to what to wear. As soon as I got free in the late afternoon, I started asking around for options. I had the option of going as a 60's Rocker or a new age Rocker. For the former I need formal shoes, tuxedos or jackets and broad rimmed rectangular spectacles. The second option was easier but I wanted something weird. I was thinking of wearing a jeans, shirt and a sweater etc.

For more options I borrowed a half sweater from one of my colleagues and went to my anaesthetist friends' rooms to check out shirts, tuxedoes etc. Finally I decided to head out to shopping to the big mall downtown with my anaesthetist friend SB. Oh boy, did we shop! We went in Pantaloons and I bought a size 40 awesome shirt (check the photo at the end of the post) and a couple of breathtaking full-sleeve T-shirts by the UMM (Underground Music Movement) company! I thoroughly enjoyed shopping and I'm proud to own three fucking cool looking clothes!

Then I came back and got ready for the party. Everyone was wearing things like dhotis, pajamas and sarees etc. I went with a costume as below. Check the photograph... That's T. by the way standing right beside me with a Chinese waitress costume. I wore my faded light brown slip - ons, a black slightly bleached jean pair, the awesome blue shirt and my awesome jacket as a tuxedo. I thought I looked nice in that. Now it's upto the world to judge.

 

The party was a mixed bag. I felt out of place at time because of the fact that I'm the only one out of the Psycho(iatrist) group. But still T. compensated for it. Besides, the food was awesome and I had a couple of drinks. Finally I ended up playing some songs on the guitar for the crowd who seemed to appreciate it. Mind you, my throat was way too fucked. Yet, I tried to sing how much ever that I could.

All in all, a great night!

The day when I put my life to risk

The occupational hazard of this profession that I'm embracing is huge. Today, I had to single-handedly manage a major case who was HBsAg +ve. The patient was an old case of fracture and the blood loss was considerable. Even though, I wore protective clothing, I came into direct contact with the patient's blood on at least 2 occasions. I hope that doesn't get me infected.

Manohar gets a treat

My cat, whom I refer to as Manohar Kadam (with pun intended at the whole set of Marathi public that I work with), got a lovely treat today. I was just hanging out for an errand at the road behind the hospital when I saw this pet shop which seemed to have a whole bunch of interesting pet thingies.

I went in to check if it had things for cats. First the guy at the shop denied having any. I still fooled around to check if something was available. After 10 minutes of engrossing searching, I found a packed snack and three toys for Mr. Kadam.

The snack is made of Tuna and is pre-processed. Just need to open it up and lay it on his bowl for munching. The toys have catnip stuffed inside cotton/wooly material. One is a catnip-mouse and the other two are catnip-balls.

He's already crazy about the catnip mouse. The balls are meant for 'fetch' games at the lawn outside the hostel.

Junior screwed my holiday

My colleague had taken a holiday for the Christmas weekend and I was left alone to manage my two irresponsible juniors. That spoilt every plan that I had planned to go out. But what I ended up ultimately doing was to start jamming in my room with my electric guitar and bass guitar. We bought a cheap cable as well from the nearby music store. Hoping to progress a lot mor with the band soon.

Happy Feet

To make up for the sadness surrounding the occassion, I and S. went for the movie 'Happy Feet'. For a standard Pixar movie, it was a let down. Animation was beyond comparison to anything else that Pixar had made ever. But the screenplay and the story were not as good as those before.

But we had a nice time. Tomorrow is a holiday. I hope to do something interesting?

Band Breakup?

Tonight, we met at Xander's apartment for a jam session. Apart from yesterday's dinner confusion, nothing was wrong. But as usual, Xander was drinking and not really interested in serious jamming. We tried many songs but not even one could reach anywhere.

We even tried the latest song that we were working on so enthusiastically last weekend called 'Severity'. Finally, Xander went away with his glass of rum and soda to the living room to lay down.

This got S.' so pissed (I really don't understand what was the abrupt trigger was) that he said he wanted to leave immediately. He also said to me and Parry (Xander was busy) that there is no future to the band like this. This was around 3 AM.

I tried to make him stay back. But it dawned on me as well that even I was feeling immense frustration regarding the lack of realization of our goals as a band because of the lackadaisical attitude of Xander.

So I also started out with him. I wanted to talk with him about the band and the dream. Finally I ended up driving half way across Mumbai to drop him at his home. During the ride S.' said that he's not going to come for any more jam sessions until Xander changes his whole attitude.

He also said that I can also join in his new band as a bassist as their bassist just left town. That was so relieving. It seems so promsising as well.

But I'm unhappy as a whole. I wanted the band to work with Xander. He's the talent-house, someone who can propel us into mainstream international rock stardom.

Dinner Mess

S. and family had come back to town a week before. I had been bragging S. about a delicious home-cooked dinner for some time now. Suddenly, that is, yesterday night, S. called me up and said that me, Xander and Parry were invited for a dinner at S.' apartment.

The plan was for us to go together to S.' apartment in a cab. I got a couple of missed calls from Xander and Parry (both taking an off from work, for boozing and gaming) at around 6 pm when I was struggling to awaken from my sleep after a heavy emergency yesterday.

I returned their call at 6.30 pm and told them that I would take until around 8 pm at least before I got free. This was according the plan that Xander had planned yesterday evening. Since both of them were free and ready to start, and since my hospital is practically on the way to S.' apartment, I asked them to come pick me up in a cab.

As usual, Xander had problems with this idea. He wanted me to come home before I started. I requested them a couple of times more in the next hour or so to do it. But still they refused.

Finally, I got free by around 9 pm. I called Xander. He didn't pick up. Then I called Parry. Parry was hanging out with someone (pro'lly his GF) at a mall nearby the apartment. He said that he suddenly was called to join work at 11.30 pm and there was no way he could make it for the dinner. Besides, he told me that Xander was sleeping probably at the apartment as he was also not answering his calls.

I requested Parry to try to at least to turn up. Parry said he'll try. He said he'll go wake up Xander and then start to S.' apartment. I asked them if they could pick me up on the way in the highway? Parry said, it will be difficult.

So, I decided to go by train alone. I thought, fuck.. ltet them come in their own time. I don't want to go in late for a family men with two drunk men.

I got in a cab to get me to the suburban station. It took me fooken 15 minutes to travel hardly a kilometre. In the cab, I get a call from Xander. He asks me where I was. I said I was in a cab going to railway station. He asked me why I didn't call him up. I said I called him but he didn't pick up. I disagreed with me and asked me 'Doc, how can you decide on going alone when we had plans to go together?' I said, you didn't get ready soon enough. He just hung up

Obviously, only I turned up. I had the most satisfying meal of my entire year. WOW. But still S.' and me feel bad about the ever-frequent quarrels between me and Xander.

Coming of age?

I guess this is not as significant as it seems to me. Today, is the first day when my professor washed up for a surgery with me and my junior without anybody else. There was no Associate Professor, Lecturer, Senior Registrar and so forth. This shows that he has learned to trust me.

Another thing was that I sort of out-thought everyone else in the hospital regarding the diagnosis of the case that I was assisiting my professor. It was a case of a 11 year old girl developing acute flaccid paraplegia with the MRI reports suggesting tuberculosis of the spine causing compression of spinal cord as the cause.

Well, from day 1, I didn't think it was Tuberculosis. I thought it could a tumor. Nothing seemed to fit in. And today, everything fell in place. It finally turned out to be a tumor after all. Bad for the child I guess. But I finally felt siginficantly more important. Something like growing in the hierarchial strata.

The loss is confirmed

Yesterday, Chuck's father expired. Officially. I guess there was no point in continuing the mental agony of the someone on ventilator. I was on emergency duty. Besides, I didn't know what to talk about to Chuck. So I delayed ringing him up till today evening. He talk calmly on the phone.

My Mom thankfully had gone to the functions at Chuck's home. That is glad.

Four days since

It's been four days since Chuck's father was admitted. There is no improvement in the condition. I managed to talk to him somewhat more two days back. Yet, I wasn't able to empathize with his condition. Bereavement is difficult to deal with.

Besides that, we've been trying to make a new song. It is untitled yet. We made it with a riff that I had made on Friday. Now, as of today, I've made most of the song on guitar. This sound radio friendly and totally grungy.

Let's hope this turns out to be good.

What do I do?

Early afternoon, when I was jamming with Xander and Parry, I recieved a message and a missed call. It was from Chuck. His father was admitted in the Neurosurgery ICU with an intracranial bleed. Comatose. Very bad prognosis.

I tried calling him up. I wasn't sure what to say but thankfully, I couldn't get through. I finally got in touch with him in the night. I didn't have a lot to say. I said that I know what had happened and asked him how the situation was. He said that it hadn't changed.

I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do.

How do I react to such a traumatic incident in one of my best friend's life?

Such a bad week

This week was perhaps my worst ever in KEM. One junior had left for his sister's wedding. And other one was acting up strange. He already received a memo for abusing a relative of a patient. I think that was the most foolish thing anyone could do.

Twice in the week, I received scoldings from my senior serious enough to make me feel that I should quit my residency and do something else. This is despite working my ass off to compensate for the lack of one junior.

But I can't just leave and go now. Still I need to face my problems. I want to work and I'm working as hard as ever. But I hate the way things work out in this hospital and I hate my seniors who constantly irritate me.

On the other side, Xander is having issues with his relationship. It's been about 3 weeks since we jammed properly. S. is coming back tomorrow from Kerala. So that might just liven things up. Ray is touring North India and giving a couple of exams.

My father is doing okay. That is also relieving.

And to top all that, for the first time in about 3 years I played with a cat (my cat) in the hospital campus (on a lawn) earlier this evening. So much fun it is!

Bad days yet again

My junior is on a week's vacation. I have to do everything like in the First year. Wait, even when he was around I had to do that. So what difference does it make? I slept at 3 AM yestedray and now it is 4 AM.

What's worse is that I am getting scolding from everyone even after working properly.

On top of that, tonite I had some of the worst moments that I have ever had in my life. My Dad fell down from is chair at home and sustained about 5 seconds of unconsciousness. I tried to convince them that a visit to hospital +/- a CTScan is required.

They stated stupid excuses and refused to go initially. I was so hurt and dejected that my family themselves were not listening to me in such things. I went into instant depression and didn't answer calls from my family from Kerala.

Instead, I arranged for Chuck to take care of it. Finally, everything is normal. But still I'm hurt. Why is it like this?

Here's my cat to cheer up the mood...

Weekend bash in Pune

This weekend, we had some free time in the hospital. It was a conference weekend and therefore, we were off duty from the major OT on Saturday. This Wednesday night, when I was jamming with Xander, his friend Shri had called from Pune. This weekend was Shri's future fiance's birthday and there was a big party. Xander and I were invited as well.

On the pretext of attending my father's birthday function back in Kerala, I and Xander left on Friday evening in a cab. It was a nice ride. Had lots of fun. We reached Pune in the early hours of Saturday. In Shri's apartment, we spent some time jamming and then slept by 6 AM.

On Saturday, we got up in the afternoon. After having food and things, I was sleepy again and I dozed off. Meanwhile, Xander and Shri bought decoration material. By evening, we were decorating the apartment.

The party started at around 8.30 PM. About 20 people. The strangest thing was that I was missing my gang (Xander, S., Parry, Sandy etc.). The people there had strange tastes. They preferred 'Bigg Boss' (a reality show on Indian TV) to anything else on TV. They like Bryan Adams more than Alice in Chains and they only knew of the Hell Freezes Version of 'Hotel California'.

In the night, we had a ball with jamming (me, Xander and Shri alternating on guitars and some percussion with the rest of the crowd chipping in with vocals. At the end of the night, I was tired again. Xander got drunk and went into one of this bad mood phases.

On Sunday, I got up mid afternoon and watched most of the 5th ODI between India and SA. Then I went to sight-see Pune with Shri. We went to a mall and I was again feeling the pinch of Pune sort of. The crowd seemed to be self-conscious and seemed to be older and less enthusiastic.

In the night, we went to the perennial hangout of the Puneites in Xander's older gang - Apache the lounge/pub. Listening to some awesome music, I got drunk on beer.

Here's one snap in which I look like Stevie Wonder while I was wearing Xander's shades.


I should have known not to laugh too much On the way back, I threw up. My first throw up ever after getting drunk.

Then Xander's friends drove us two back home to Mumbai. In the night there was some serious scare as we found our apartment's lock changed. Only in the morning, we found out that the neighbors had found our door not locked properly and the water was leaking from inside. So they cleaned our place and locked it with their lock.

That was scary!

The day I did better than co-registrar

I know that I shouldn't be comparing myself to my peers and feeling better about myself because they are doing worser than me. That is what had happened yesterday. I was able to complete a surgery quite quickly after my co-registrar was unable to. This was my first time something like this was happening. I felt good. I have to admit that I did.

I know it is wrong. But I can't help it. My life has been so miserable that I think I have to find happiness in things like this.

Bass is back

 Yeah, and it sounds awesome.  Just  like how it sounded when it bought it. I'm so happy. But at the same time, my old bass guitar has problems. One of the tuning head has gone bad apparently.