Sep 19, 2009

Dates

What's there in dating, you might ask? Most of us have achieved varying degrees of satisfaction in finding someone, and being with that person, in a relationship. Some of the lucky ones still are with their special someone. For the rest, there is a choice.

A person with relatively high self-esteem might sit back and hope that some magic will happen and justify 'When you look for something, you won't find it.' A person with the same level of self-esteem, but with a desire to reach the goal, might re-start dating and still have sufficient immunity to heal the process of emotional wounding.

However, for people like me, with varying moods and a whole extra-large pack of depression and low self-esteem, it's a minefield. Every date is a potential dagger being thrust into your back, so that when you fall, the dagger can go no way but in.

I'm like a decorticated dog in a Pavlovian experiment - which failed to get de-conditioned to love and pain. I wish I could stop this vicious cycle. I can't. So be nice to me.

8 comments:

Deeps!! said...

good luck with that!! waiting to hear if there're any changes!

Kris Bass said...

Well, I don't think there will be any changes too soon!

:)

Kris

myheadtrip said...

I don't find dates even if I want to!!! Then I go about saying...you won't find it when you search for it... Which category would I fit into I wonder?!?! :)

Wishing you the very best Kris!

purpledpages said...

wow..that's the most honest thing I've read today. Really hope things work out for you soon!

rita said...

It's more about loving yourself then finding someone else to make you happy.

Ria said...

I completely agree with one of the comments here stating that it is more important that you love yourself rather than seeking happiness in someone else loving you.
I am not a very big fan of dating, but i know that it is important to spend quality time with the person whom you like, and provided he/she likes you.

Kris Bass said...

@ MyHeadTrip: I don't know. I think you fall into the club of the underappreciated.

@ PurpledPage: Thanks! I'm so honest, you can almost smell me in here. :P

@ Riat: Well, yeah. But to love yourself, you need self-esteem. Self-esteem, to me at least, comes from being loved.

Kris Bass said...

@ Ria: Ria, don't confuse sex with dating. :P

But yeah, I agree! :)