Engayging Life

Are sex and masturbation a taboo among women in urban India still?

2011-11-08T23:18:00.001+05:30

Today, I was having a casual conversation with my colleagues (all female) about sex and masturbation over lunch. Not the average lunch-time topic, I agree. But I wanted to discuss it with my friends.

All of them said that they don't 'do' such things and they would only have sex after marriage. I can't quite believe it. No masturbation? Throughout adolescence and adulthood until marriage?

Do others have similar experiences?

Two months

2011-11-07T13:21:00.004+05:30

I have been away from the blog for two months or so. In those two months, my life has changed for the better.

September 25th: I went to Rajasthan to perform with a Bollywood playback singer, Kshitij Tarey
September 26th: I met Joseph Anthony Ruffino, my boyfriend! <3
Late September: I start going on a diet and gymming regularly!
September/October/November: I finally have sex!
September/October: I had many gigs with Cirkles and Overhung!
October 5th/6th: I had two gigs with Monali Thakur, a Bollywood playback singer!
October 15th - I lose 2 kgs and 2 inches everywhere!
October 22nd - I contract dengue fever with thrombocytopenia.
October 24th - 29th - I get admitted in a hospital and undergo supportive treatment and platelet transfusion.
October 29th - My sister flies in for my discharge. I catch up with her.
October 31st - I install an AC in my apartment
October 31st - My parents fly in to stay with me for 5 weeks.
November 1st - I buy a gas connection.
November 7th - I turned 32 years today! Wish me happy b'day! And I join back work!

Goodbye

2011-09-18T19:42:00.002+05:30

I don’t think anyone really understands how relationships work. The ups and downs, the arguments and misunderstandings, and communication.

A year or so ago, I met a wonderful man from France online. We got to be great friends and met in real life. We even had periods of infatuation for each other.

Today, I closed the lid on our friendship after a series of exchanges that made me feel that he was taking my love/kindness for granted. I feel empowered to have taken the decision myself.

So, good luck, my friend. I hope this post will be a warning and a reminder for me and my friends to not take anyone for granted.

Deaddiction

2011-09-17T20:11:00.001+05:30

I still remember the days when I (along with my friends from the hospital) had to take Vinokur to a deaddiction center (a hospital). The two weeks or so that I spent with Vinokur there were the toughest days of my life.

Tonight, one of my friends called me and said that he had just had a fight with his family and didn’t have a place to stay. He asked me if he could stay over for the night at my apartment. I didn’t know what to say to him.

I asked him to see if he can find someone else, failing which, he can come over. I told him this because I know how I can appear unfriendly to people who are staying over with whom I’m not that comfortable in the first place. I had to be honest with him.

Well, later I found that he was drunk and was out of his mind when he called me. In sobriety, he apologized for the way he behaved but he also asked me if I can suggest him a way to get him out of alcoholism.

I offered him the same option – the same hospital. Of course, he has to help himself first and be motivated to quit the addiction. However, I feel that it’s my responsibility to get him out of this.

The question is why do I feel responsible to help people get rid of their addictions? Jerry (back from my hometown) wanted to quit cigarettes, Xander wanted to get rid of his alcoholism, and Vinokur had to get deaddicted from his soporifics. And now this.

The only person that I was successful with was Vinokur. I hope my friend will become a second.

New computer, new songs

2011-09-16T20:16:00.001+05:30

I sent my band mates at Bad Influence a few songs that I had written previously – the songs that are on the playlist on the right sidebar on the blog. They were happy with some of the songs and they wanted to take some songs and perform them as a band.

This inspired me. Or should I say “inspires” me? I had already taken up the assignment of writing one or two news songs for the band in two weeks time ending this Sunday. So, after work, I came home and I sat down with the guitar and I recorded two melodies/songs over chords on my computer.

Since buying my new computer, which has Windows 7, I have been unable to record how I used to previously – multi-track recording with Cubase SX. I only have Audacity to work with and I can’t record more than one track without latency issues.

I’m hoping to fix things up soon and record recordings whole songs on my computer. Here’s to the fruition of that plan!

Evening in with a dear

2011-09-15T20:30:00.002+05:30

I lived up to my ad on FaceBook! I finally caught up with a dear friend and ex-colleague of mine (I think I used to refer to her as SN in here) over beer. She was my primary support during my breakup with Vinokur. We had such a splendid time over beer, Chicken lollipops, pistachios, and Pringles BBQ chips! Looking forward to more fun like this.

Those who are reading this and wanting to spend a nice evening at my apartment, remember the stipulations. There are none. :)

Catching up with Ray

2011-09-14T20:28:00.000+05:30

I finally did it. After 8 months or so, I called Ray and caught up with him. It was fun just like the old times, but the fun was mostly from my end – because he has less time for interesting things with his residency and marriage.

The call got interrupted in between – he ran out of charge, but I feel so much better. Now it’s time for May and Chuck! Here’s to old friends!

Old crush, a new beginning?

2011-09-13T20:40:00.003+05:30

I met someone this weekend, someone who I have “known” for eight years now, someone who has always been interested in me, someone who asked me again if I was interested.

Back in 2004, when we initially met online, I had no idea about relationships and love. Eight years from then, I felt I have grown so much and I know so much more about the intricacies of the heart.

It was such a pleasure to catch up. And the conversation seamlessly went into furthering our friendship. We are very attracted to each other and he’s planning to visit me early next year.

I don’t know what to say, but I’m very excited about it all. I want everyone to keep their appendages crossed. I think a year and almost-half without having anyone in your life is long enough to be “single.”

The most ironic thing is that he looks like Vinokur and has the same nick name! :-O At least that’s what my friends and family told me when I showed them his photo.

Indians are ‘donkeys’

2011-09-04T21:58:00.000+05:30

!ncredible India. !ncredible media. !ncredible Indians. !ncredibly humorless. !ncredibly silly. !ncredibly shallow.

Nasser Hussain used the term ‘donkeys’ to refer to a few Indian cricketers – it’s a cricketing slang used in England to refer to cricketers who are tardy on the field.

The Indian media and some of the former greats of the game have gone overboard and have criticized Nasser Hussain for insulting Indians. Virat Kohli was offended too

This is just bullshit. Even if Nasser meant it in the way Indians mean when they call each other ‘donkeys’, you should take in the spirit and not whine.

Nasser, sure didn’t mean that. But the way some of us overreacted to this, I’m sure we ended up letting the term imply the meaning that we thought it meant.

Evening in

2011-09-03T23:23:00.000+05:30

The other evening with my friend and colleague convinced me that it is time for me to break my shackles and try and reenter socializing actively. Usually, I would sit on such a thought. This time, I didn’t. I invited my friend and fellow blogger Craig, over for an evening in.

The last time we did it, Craigie had brought some CDs over and we had gotten drunk over some good music that he liked. That was two years back. I don’t know what we’ll do, but I was sort of more confident than I was last time. I had six pints of beer and I didn’t know if we would be eating.

I met Craigie near the supermarket near my apartment. We spent some time going over the beer section at the wine shop attached to the supermarket. We didn’t pick up anything from there. Instead, we went over to the food section, I picked up some roast chicken for dinner.

Later, at my apartment, we had a fantastic time with conversations, laughter, and stories over beer. We had to order three more large bottles of beer to last the night. Some six hours of conversation! Excellent.! I’m back on the social map again.

I have already put out an ad on FaceBook for auditioning friends for conversation over drinks. I have already received some replies. Maybe, I’ll find more friends. :)

Bad Influence

2011-09-02T18:57:00.000+05:30

This is a project that has been lurking in the background for a few months (almost a year now). We are still in search of a permanent drummer. We thought we had found one, but he was too busy. The other that came along weren’t good enough or again were too busy.

Finally, we asked a dear friend of ours, Sheldon Dixon, the drummer from Overhung, to see if you would be interested in playing with us. He agreed. We are yet to jam with him, but this promises a lot of stability to the band.

Yesterday, we were supposed to jam with him, but our guitarist called of the jam at the last moment citing some emergency. Instead of jamming, we went and had dinner over drinks with Sheldon. Apart from sharing stories and lots of laughing, we discussed our future plan. And Sheldon was an integral part of it.

So, here’s to you, Sheldon Dixon. Hope Bad Influence lives its dream.

TWiT.tv

2011-09-01T21:45:00.000+05:30

I’m very much into radio, especially News/Talk radio. So, a few days back, I was browsing the list of stations under News/Talk radio on iTunes and I stumbled on this gem – the audio feed from TWiT.tv. Totally geeky, but fantastic content for those into internet, technology, and gadgets.

I also checked their online TV stream out – the radio stream is just the audio version of the TV stream – it streams beautifully even with my 1 MBPS cable connection.

You guys have to check this out. TWiT.tv. It’s my internet revelation of the year!

Can you do it to yourself?

2011-08-31T22:31:00.000+05:30

On my way home from work, on the ride on the bus home, with my favorite ‘pink’ iPod Shuffle giving me splendid company, I was thinking about what my colleagues had told me in the afternoon.

“Kris, your paunch is looking bigger.”

I hadn’t noticed it had grown that prominent. I tired to defend myself by saying:

“It’s always been there. Maybe you didn’t notice.”

Suddenly, Thom Yorke started singing “Just” on my Shuffle, the chorus went of like this:

“Can you do it to yourself? Yes, you do, and that’s what really hurts. You do it to yourself…”

It felt like Thom was asking me about why I was letting myself grow overweight and out of shape.

That’s it, I decided. It motivated me to go to the gym back again. With the iPod Shuffle, of course.

I did. I weighed myself. I had put on 6 kilos in the last 4 months or so! I felt bad enough to set up an appointment for a BCA test. That will be tomorrow.

Meanwhile, I won’t let it do it to myself. I promise.

Apple Store in India? And a date!

2011-08-30T19:50:00.000+05:30

So, I posted a message on my FaceBook wondering why Apple never launched an Apple Store in Mumbai. I got a few responses saying that there are indeed Apple Stores in Mumbai. I had made it clear to them that I was not talking to them about premium sellers – I have one right next to my apartment. I’m talking about actual Apple Stores. Like they have in the US, where prices are not exorbitant.

Some of my friends convinced me that there are indeed Apple stores in Mumbai. I was excited. I wanted to check them out, especially since I was considering buying a laptop before I headed out for my trip to Lucknow in December.

So, I asked my honey from the office, my wonderful colleague SN from office, to come out with my to check the ‘Apple Store’ at Palladium mall (Phoenix, Lower Parel) and have a dinner afterward.

We went. We found out that it was not an Apple Store after all – it was an ‘iStore’, a premium reseller chain operated by Reliance. I even tried finding the reason why. Apparently, Apple can’t yet sell its products in India without tying up with third party companies. And with the taxes etc, the prices go up over the roof. So, there is indeed no Apple Store in India.

At the store, however, I was charmed by MacBook Airs, MacBook Pros, iPads, iMacs and what not. I think I’m becoming a sucker for Apple stuff. Incredible turnaround isn’t it, considering that I wrote this barely a week back. Now I want to buy an Apple laptop and an iPad soon. Hmmm…

After that, we had lovely tenderloin/bacon cheeseburgers with beer and coffee (me and SM, respectively). Over tons of jokes. A hell load of laughter. I SO love her!

At the back of my mind, I was thinking about getting back in touch with May. I told SN about the current situation with her. She inspired me to do something about it by messaging her. I did. We have agreed to meet in a couple of weeks’ time.

Day of packages

2011-08-30T19:28:00.000+05:30

After the two-day weekend, when I reached work, I was greeted at my desk by a package that hard arrived from my Mom. It contained the ‘idli podi’, the kind of dry chutney/masala that you have with dosas and idlis. I was very happy. But that was not the end of it.

In the afternoon, I received a package from @WOMWorldNokia with a Nokia X7 that I am supposed to test for 2 weeks. For those who don’t quite know the saga behind it, you can read it here.

The first impressions when I opened the box were not very encouraging. Despite the surprise and the awe after receiving the package, almost everyone thought that X7 looked bad. These are the various reactions that I got.

'Ugly', 'Not Good Looking', 'Looks like a coffin', 'Uggh!', and 'Okay'.

I came back home and made dosas and had them with the idli powder. I also opened the X7 package and found that it doesn’t have a user manual in English. So I was even wary of putting it to charging. But eventually I did.

The only good thing that happened after that was that it immediately hooked on to my Wi-Fi at the apartment. I tried browsing on the default browser. It sucked. The screen resolution sucked. The you tube videos won’t load on full screen. There is no pinch zoom. The screen is not as responsive as you would like.

So, I downloaded Opera Mini and Opera Mobile to test. Both got downloaded (and probably installed). But I can’t find them. That’s it, I can’t find my way around the phone. The interface also sucks. The home screen is not as customizable or user friendly as the Android ones are.

I haven’t sill put a sim card in it. I’ll probably do that tomorrow/Thursday. Let’s see if it stops sucking even a little bit.

Podcasts and more

2011-08-28T19:14:00.000+05:30

What a nice lazy Sunday it was. Usually, my Sundays are boring. Lazy and boring. But today was a little different. Instead of just sleeping and watching TV shows (BattleStar Galactica now), I spent some time going through the radio and podcast options on iTunes.

First of all, I’m not a big fan of iTunes. But you have to admit that it’s pretty decent to manage/listen to podcasts and radio. I haven’t used many podcast managers – hell, I haven’t even listened to too many apart from a brief period in 2007 - but iTunes seems to be best and the easiest.

So, I discovered that they had BBC World Service as Radio 4. That was good. I discovered the NPR Programs channel, which I listened to for a few hours. I, in fact, recommended it to my dear friend from office who was nostalgic about NPR – she used to listen to it when she was in the States.

Apart from that, I discovered a weird Alternative Talk Radio station (to which I slept to) which dealt with life, positivity, exercise, diet, self-esteem etc. That was fun too – to know that dark chocolate and sugar (plain white sugar) do the exact opposite to your mood.

Then I discovered a TWiT – a radio/TV station which broadcasts quality content about computers and other geeky stuff. Jeez, you gotta love this channel if you are a nerd. I also watched their TV show for a few hours. I think they do repetitions of programming, but it was still nice.

About podcasts – I found a few very interesting ones including comedy, history, greatest speeches of all time, and language lessons. I downloaded a few of them. I haven’t listened to them yet, but that will be soon.

So, the consensus is – if you are are an old fashioned fan of radio/talk, please find stuff on iTunes and listen to it. :) iTunes isn’t that bad after all!

Worrying about Hurricane Irene

2011-08-27T21:53:00.002+05:30

I don’t know why I worry so much. Currently, as Hurricane Irene is sweeping the upper East Coast of the US, I have many friends to worry about. Vinokur, Rob, Dom, Joe – all are in the striking zone of the hurricane. Vinokur and Rob are in Grade C evacuation zones in the NYC, while Dom isn’t.

I hope they all remain safe and the hurricane doesn’t disrupt their lives.

Oh, well

2011-08-26T21:24:00.001+05:30

This is what I ended my last post with. It very well sums up the situation vis-à-vis my parents visiting me this winter. Yesterday, after considering everything, I wrote an e-mail to my Mom explaining everything – warning her about potential incompatibilities, arguments, limitation of my apartment, etc.

Yesterday evening, I chatted with her regarding the possible dates. She said that my cousin might probably get married around that time – nothing is confirmed now – and they might have to plan around that wedding. I said okay.

This morning, she repeated the same thing and said that she’s not sure about visiting. I thought aloud that it might be a good idea after all as it would relieve me off the pressure of hosting them.

She said: “Then, we won’t visit you.”

I said: “Thanks Amma.”

So much for the effort. :(

Plans for the winter

2011-08-25T21:14:00.001+05:30

Last year, I had made elaborate plans to use up my leaves (from work). I had plans to go to Goa, Hyderabad, Lucknow etc. None of the plans worked out.

This year, the scene is different altogether. There are hardly any gigs coming up outside Mumbai. Besides, Jan 26, 2011, the date that the Professor and I jokingly agreed to try and forge a relationship by, was looming.

So, after consultation with him yesterday on Skype, I booked my round trip to Lucknow in mid-December. Now, I’ve all of my body appendages crossed hoping that the trip would be a pleasant experience.

Meanwhile, I wrote to my Mom and Dad about them visiting me in the winter. They said they will think about the dates and get back to me. Oh, well!

Nokia X7

2011-08-24T20:50:00.001+05:30

So, I was on my way to work and there was a TOI front-page ad about the new smartphones that Nokia was launching. One was a touchscreen model, the other was a candy bar model, and the third one – well, it deserves to be mentioned – called X7 seemed like a touchscreen model made when the designer at Nokia had a really, really bad day.

The X7 has the strangest design that I have seen. The corners are chipped off in an unnatural fashion – remember that Nokia always believed in curves? - and the phone is thicker at the top and bottom. All the three models were running the new Symbian OS – Symbian Anna.

My immediate reaction was “Yuck,” and I posted it on Twitter. This was yesterday.

Later on, I got a tweet from @WOMWorldNokia saying that maybe I have jumped to an early conclusion and I might actually like X7 once I get my hands on it. They also asked me if I wanted to test drive one. I said I wouldn’t mind – Symbian Anna was worth it, I thought.

Today, I had the most pleasant interaction with a guy called Paul (from somewhere in the UK) over e-mail and finally I have agreed to test drive an X7 for 2 weeks. They will ship me the phone in some time. I’m really looking forward to testing it.

Now, the one thing that I want to say is that I was pleasantly surprised at the professional way guys at @WOMWorldNokia respond to criticism and convert Nokia haters into potential users. Kudos to them! :) Watch out for my full review of Nokia X7 later!

Tailspin

2011-08-23T22:28:00.003+05:30

It started out with two conversations yesterday. One with someone I love and another with someone I’m supposed to love. Both tread over my mental minefield seemingly without a care. Whiplashes and big gashes. I was hurt and suddenly had lost faith in everything.

It was plain obvious – no smile, no spark, no positivity. Some I know from far far away tried to pick me up and make me feel better. He succeeded marginally. But what really helped was a a few of hours of sleep, albeit light, in the background of some eclectic music (loud).

I woke up early, almost having forgotten what had happened the previous night. I managed to make a lot of out the precious early morning. Then, went to work. The entire day was exceptionally productive. And on my way back, I tweeted – “ Time to give an extremely productive day an ending that it deserves. Don't you dare to spoil it now!”

No sooner had I reached home, there was an e-mail waiting for me – which broke me down completely. Then there was someone else on Skype who did his bit. And finally, I went to the chat room that I hang out usually, where I received some scathing comments under the pretext of humor. I ran out of the room scared.

I have never felt worse all year. Is this another episode of clinical depression that has been otherwise well managed by my medications? Only time will tell.

I have started hating Apple

2011-08-22T23:34:00.002+05:30

This Saturday, I bought myself an iPod shuffle with the gift vouchers that I got from the office. I was very happy to have bought my first Apple product. I came home, excitedly unwrapped the cute little glass box that it came in.

The packing was excellent. There was a pair of earphones and the USB cable for charging/syncing the iPod. But there was no instruction manual or guides. Well, it must be really simple, I thought.

So, I plugged the iPod in to the computer. The nightmare began. First it wouldn’t get installed properly. Then, I tried transferring some songs with Winamp and Media Monkey. That didn’t work. Then I Googled to find out what was wrong.

I found that iTunes was a compulsory installation for syncing iPods. After that got downloaded, I had to restart my computer and then I still faced several problems before finally being able to transfer songs using Media Monkey. In between, I tried tried the support at Apple.com to find out that it didn’t offer live assistant support for iPod Shuffles! Fuck you, Apple!

I test drove it on the road today. The quality of sound was good, but the earphones tended to fall out of my ears. All in all, a perfectly annoying experience.

Going by this, I have to think twice before going for other products like iPhones, Macbooks etc.

DNA article

2011-08-21T23:21:00.001+05:30

A post from my blog got published in today’s DNA. I’m happy and proud. Here’s the link to the original post.

Am I that straight-acting?

2011-08-20T23:41:00.001+05:30

Today, at work, a female colleague of mine casually asked me “Are you trying to tell me that you are gay?” I said, “Yes, that’s what I am.”

She said “Is this one of your pranks?”

I said. “No. I’m dead serious about it. Why do you think that I get along with the women in the office so well?”

She said “You gotta be kidding me. I don’t believe it!”

And from then on, I tried to convince her that I was indeed gay. She didn’t buy it.

Am I that straight-looking?

Disappointing

2011-08-19T23:48:00.001+05:30

It’s been five days since the new refrigerator came home. I did a lot of grocery shopping to welcome it. But I haven’t found the time to change my lifestyle in anyway (that I had planned) to justify the purchase. I haven’t touched the fruits that I bought and the bananas have already gone bad.

How very disappointing!

Break up

2011-08-18T23:55:00.001+05:30

One of my friends casually told me the other day that she had broken up with her fiancé. She was smiling at me when she assured me that she was alright. I was perplexed. I tried to put myself in her shoes.

Well, I didn’t need to go much further than on May 04, 2010, I officially broke up with Vinokur. I was shattered then. Shouldn’t she be too? Why isn’t she? Was she trying to cover everything up and put a brave face? How was I to judge?

Because the setting was not intimate, I couldn’t find more details about the issue.

This is the second time that such a thing is occurring – both happened with friends who kept their cards close to their chest. That’s what I can’t do.

Anyway, I hope that my friend is really feeling okay and not too upset.

Over the top

2011-08-17T23:28:00.001+05:30

For the last two days at work, I have been working around 12 hours every day. I’m only getting paid for the 8.5 hours that I’m supposed to work.

Sometimes, it feels so unrewarding. Why should I put in the extra effort if there are no obvious benefits to come out of it.

What’s the point in all of this? Are they abusing me because I’m committed and hard working, because I’m naïve and un-demanding, because I’m just another soft soul who can be ridden on?

I read in a news article on TOI today that men who are more demanding and aggressive get better salary hikes? Should I change my mindset to it all?

Waking up to chirping birds

2011-08-16T23:49:00.002+05:30

So, I ran out of my medications (for depression and anxiety) yesterday. I went to the pharamacist to refill my quota, but I found the shop closed – it was Independence Day. So, I came back home and was worried about me having difficulties falling asleep.

I took precautionary measures – had an early meal, took an extra antihistamine pill other than the one that I take for my chronic urticaria, poured myself a couple of drinks of whiskey and sipped them while watching back-to-back episodes of Battlestar Galactica (which, by the way, is simply amazing).

This was only interrupted by an intermittent, exchange of romantic notes (over e-mails) with a wonderful man that I had met on SilverDaddies.com. I couldn’t really fall asleep despite it all.

At 2.30 am, I stopped watching BattleStar Galactica, switched on some music, and tried to sleep. Soon, I drifted on to a shallow sleep cycle, marred by dreams/nightmares – the music still helped.

At 6.15 am, I woke up to the wonderful sounds of birds chirping. This was the first time that I had heard that in months – or even more – the last time I heard that, I woke up next to a wonderful man in a beautiful apartment near Pali hill in Bandra.

I want to do this more. I want to wake up more frequently to the bird’s chirping. Will I be able to?

Working on Independence Day

2011-08-15T23:47:00.001+05:30

National holiday. Working day for me because my company needed to. Of course, I get paid for working extra. But that’s not the real perk.

The most beautiful thing about working on a national holiday is the peace. Everything, from bus stops, to buses, to roads, to offices, to pantries -everything is quieter. There are less people around. The city, the office - everything feels so much more peaceful.

You know, when people from smaller cities and towns (especially from abroad) tell me that they might not like to live in Mumbai, I never really thought about what they said. In their lives, every day is like a national holiday. Everything is peaceful, calm, and less crowded.

Coming to think of it, I might like living in such a town. Not now, sometime in the future.

Wonderful Vinokur

2011-08-14T23:11:00.001+05:30

Today, received this beautiful note from Vinokur, my ex-boyfriend. Needless to say, he made me happy like no other man has ever has, or perhaps can.

I think my ex, Kris, who lives in Mumbai, loved me more than any lover I've ever had. In fact, I think he still does. He's a wonderful person and I suspect you'd agree. Although he's a Hindu by birth and was named for Lord Krishna, he's an atheist now. He's a very fine rock musician.

Thank you, Vinokur!

Double-movie date

2011-08-13T21:41:00.003+05:30

I broke the shackles yet again. This time with a colleague, a newly acquired very good friend! I went out with her and watched Rise of the Planet of the Apes and Captain America back to back. We followed up with lunch at a restaurant that gave me fond memories of a wonderful dinner date that I had with Mike.

The most wonderful moment during the entire date was when my friend slept through the first half of Captain America (yes, it was rather boring for a Marvel movie) with her head on my shoulder! It felt really good!

About the movies – Rise of the Planet of the Apes is a very good movie – probably better than the Mark Wahlberg-starring Planet of the Apes (2001). It is a reboot of the franchise with a new story line. It’s a must watch for all classic sci-fi movie fanatics! 4 star!

Captain America is a must watch for Marvel lovers. But it’s actually disappointing. Especially, the unrealistic story and the plot (yes, even in comics, plots can be realistic). I would give it a 3 star rating.

New refrigerator

2011-08-12T21:36:00.001+05:30

I can’t believe how friends from around the world influence me (usually positively). I have a friend from Palm Springs, CA on SilverDaddies.com who I’m interested in me (and who is interested in me too, I believe). We know each other for a while because we chat in a chat room *(the room that I met Vinokur, Rich etc. in).

Anyway, we were chatting about my general lifestyle and my friend gives very good advice on the same. He wants me to improve my diet and as a first step, he asked me buy a refrigerator that works (the old one doesn’t really work properly). He coaxed me to put it as first priority. And I did!

I completed the transaction for a new 250-L Samsung 5-star 2-door refrigerator! It will be delivered tomorrow and I have to go shopping to fill it up with goodies – most importantly, fruits, veggies, and meat!

Thank you, dear friend!

I don’t get Ganpati, I really don’t.

2011-08-07T22:42:00.003+05:30

I hate most festivals. I think they are noisy and intrusive. Those who don’t celebrate them have every right to lead their lives the way they do every other day when such festivals are around. But we can’t. At least in Mumbai. Ganpati is one of the worst. I don’t celebrate Ganpati. Yet, I have to pay Rs. 700/- for the Housing Societiy’s Ganpati celebration fund. What bull crap. I don’t give a shit. The only positive thing is that the money will eventually go out of my landlord’s pocket and not mine.

The Very Thought Of You

2011-08-04T00:41:00.002+05:30

A hunk of an Italian-American, on whom I have a big crush on, sent me these lyrics of a Billie Holiday song “The Very Thought Of You” a few minutes before. I am overwhelmed. <3

The very thought of you and I forget to do
The little ordinary things that everyone ought to do
I'm living in a kind of daydream
I'm happy as a king
And foolish though it may seem
To me that's everything

The mere idea of you, the longing here for you
You'll never know how slow the moments go till I'm near to you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you, my love

<instrumental interlude>

The mere idea of you, the longing here for you
You'll never know how slow the moments go till I'm near to you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you, my love

CM Punk

2011-07-18T20:49:00.000+05:30

I have always had a liking for professional wrestling. When, I was a kid, when I thought it was all real, I used to love the action and contests, following storylines as if they aren’t scripted.

Then came the time that I realized that everything was fake – well, all the story lines – and I started losing interest. Then came startling plots starting with the take over of WCW by WWE. Then came personalities like the Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Rock who were more than just wrestlers, but entertainers.

That was followed by a time when the whole wrestling industry took a bit of a beating – they couldn’t find people to fit in the shoes of these biggies who had found greener pastures – Hollywood, to be more specific.

Then came CM Punk – Punk has been here a long time, however, but he hasn’t risen to such a stature until recently - and the wonderfully plotted storyline where he was supposed to leave the the WWE with the championship.

That main even – Money in The Bank pay perview in Chicago, was the best that I had seen in my entire life. The energy in the crowd was amazing. And of course, this was all thanks to that wonderful guy behind the mic – CM Punk.

Thanks to him and his extraordinary skills – and some wonderful writing from the WWE – wrestling has become entertaining once again.

To CM Punk – thank you!

The painful truth about auditions

2011-07-17T20:24:00.000+05:30

It’s hard to be in auditions – both when you are being audition and when you are auditioning someone. When you are auditioning someone, it is a huge responsibility. I have had the pleasure of auditioning a talented musician for one of my bands.

But just talent doesn’t count. Being professional is very important. Unfortunately, this person didn’t make the cut. Not having rehearsed enough, not having worked the parts out properly. Maybe not experienced as much as the rest of the band members were.

It’s disappointing to say to this person – I’m sorry, but you got to go.

Professional musician

2011-07-16T08:29:00.000+05:30

I’m no virtuoso. Neither am I an amateur. I am a decent bass guitar player and a musician. Like everyone else, even the virtuosos, I learn each and every day.

But unlike how I should, I don’t put in that much effort to improve my skills. I don’t know the problem – it’s a lack of motivation? Maybe because I’m already settled in with a few bands and am known as a professional already?

Whatever it is, I know what I’m doing is not good. Being a professional means that you have to act like one. Seeking constant improvement. Practicing your skills at home. Instead of watching some garb on television or something.

There used to be a time, about a year or so back, when I used to attend sessions held by Dee Wood at Whistling Woods. Every week, I would learn something. Dee would ask us to rehearse more. Set mini goals for ourselves. But improve each and every single day.

It’s time that I ought to find the right balance between work, life, and honing my skills.

More quality opinion

2011-07-15T19:38:00.000+05:30

This piece from the New Yorker mirrors my opinion about the Mumbai blasts – the latest series of them, that is. Please read it.

Care for some sane opinion?

2011-07-14T07:28:00.000+05:30

Unfortunately, it’s the same shit all over again. Television, newspapers, rants, opinions… wait a minute, there is something different this time around. And that is Twitter! With Twitter, you get access to the thoughts of free-thinking individuals which are, trust me, far better than the farce the put on TV these days.

Yes, Mumbai’s resilience needs to be sent back to the cupboard. But if you want to some sane opinion on issues such as this, as well as cricket, from an intelligent Mallu, of course, here’s what you have to follow – @prempanicker on Twitter.

Another attack

2011-07-13T22:37:00.000+05:30

I got to know about this as I was riding a bus from work back to work. From Twitter. I was the first one in the bus to know. Then I got a call from my sister. Even though the conversation was in Malayalam, a few of the fellow commuters picked up the tone and the mention of the bombs and asked me what was happening.

I told them that I had read on Twitter about the Opera House + Dadar blasts. Then, they all started dialing their dear ones. They all got signal jams. Twitter was the only thing that was working. I sent an SMS out to my Mom and my sister telling them that I had reached home safely. I didn’t turn on the telly. Instead, I followed the events unfolding on the internet and Twitter.

What do I have to say about the attacks? Just that I think they are disappointing. Just because of their frequency/regularity and the apparent inefficiency of the authorities to prevent them despite heightened intelligence. I am sorry for those who have lost their dear ones. And yes, Mumbai won’t be showing it’s resilience this time around. It’s about time we started taking this as a serious issue and started working towards eliminating such attacks.

Dream Sweet Home

2011-07-12T23:23:00.000+05:30

I am ashamed about my apartment. And some people, without meaning to be so, make me feel even worse. Most people joke. Some people boast. Some people just make me feel so insecure about my apartment by being where they are in their lives.

I don’t quite know what I can do, with the kind of finances that I have, to upgrade myself to a better apartment where I can proudly invite people over, where I won’t be insecure about what they will think of me. An apartment without infestations, with good ventilations, lighting, and comfortable interiors.

Having said all this, there have been people like Mike, Rob, Bruno, and a couple of others who have visited me in my apartment and said wonderful things about it. I want someone like that now. Someone who will appreciate what is there and how difficult things are to make better.

Planet of the Apes (2001)

2011-07-11T22:56:00.000+05:30

The other day, my friend and band mate Howard Pereira (Depth, Dischordian, Overhung) told me that the ending of the 2001 remake of the Planet of the Apes was more confusing and surprising. I remember having watched the remake before I had watched the 1960s series of five movies. So, I decided to watch it again.

Overburdened with anticipation, I watched the movie today. Honestly, apart from the production, everything was incomparable to the 1968 classic. What happened to the dumb/mute human beings who were lobotomized. What about the classic ending with Statue of the Liberty. And what was the new ending which left the viewer totally confused as to what just happened.

Unfortunately, I must rate the movie to 2.5 star because of the important things that it failed to bring out from the classic.

A new beginning

2011-07-10T22:32:00.000+05:30

I am getting bolder. I have decided to bring some improvements in my lifestyle. The latest entrant is new computer without the monitor. It’s a powerful machine that can help me restart home recording.

But the most important upgrade – the baptization of my apartment into a Wi-Fi-enabled one. :) Very happy and proud man here!

Google+

2011-07-09T23:27:00.000+05:30

The whole world has been talking about and I have been dying to get into it. I finally did that today. And I was impressed. Google+, the latest and the best effort by the search engine giant, to enter into the social networking space.

It’s a clean interface and I’m still getting used to dragging people into Circles. I haven’t tried hangouts yet. The news feed is primarily geeky stuff related to Google+ itself. Compared to FaceBook, they have got privacy up front. That way, they have succeeded.

But it’s still grossly underpopulated and undertested. Will it be compatible with FaceBook and Twitter. Would we need to update Google+ separately (the others have integration features). Only, time will tell.

Until then, ummm… I don’t know, I might give it the same attention as I give to Twitter and Facebook.

Sashi Tharoor–oh, please!

2011-07-08T00:03:00.000+05:30

Yesterday, I read an article about Test cricket by none other than Sashi Tharoor. I have generally respected his opinion. But I disagree with him on the present issue of the attritional cricket in West Indies being boring. Test cricket, even when attritional is more entertaining that T20 cricket. Every session – 2-hour session – is more captivating than the smaller version of the game.

A cricket lover wouldn’t be able to deny the fact that even if you didn’t tune into the first half (or 3/4ths) of a T20 match, you would still be able to catch the climax. What about a session in test cricket. Can you predict how it will take twists, how a battle between a bowler and a batsman can shape up.

No, you can’t. And hence, Test Cricket will remain on top of everything in Cricket. If you want people filling up the stadiums, avoid television broadcasts in the city that it’s being played in until the stadium gets full. That’s what Cricket Australia does and they are pretty darned successful in it.

A memorable experience

2011-07-07T23:54:00.000+05:30

I have always enjoyed performing at the Hard Rock Café in Mumbai. This is despite shoddy sound and bad acoustics. Apparently, one of theirs PA doesn’t work properly. Today, the sound was close to pathetic – you can’t expect people to simply ‘graduate’ as sound guys without having proper knowledge.

However, the performance (with Overhung) was enjoyable. It was my first gig with my new bass processor. Apparently, my sound was really. I also enjoyed performing a song with a vocalist that I look up to – Suraj Jagan. I performed “Man In The Box” by Alice In Chains and Suraj totally killed it on stage.

Why was tonight’s gig special? First gig with new bass sound. Also, because three of my colleagues attended the gig – this is pretty unusual in my case.

The ride of death

2011-07-06T19:28:00.000+05:30

I don’t understand why some rick drivers do this. Fast, brash, without apparent knowledge of any traffic law. Today, I endured one such ride. I think he almost ran the rick into something big and heavy almost three times. And all the three times, I hoped that we would crash.

Yes, I would have been a martyr then. I would have technically taken the rick driver off the road and saved others lives.

The only good thing about it – I got to work earlier that I otherwise would have.

Mr. Azad–really, really?

2011-07-04T19:12:00.000+05:30

I can’t quite believe that Mr. Ghulam Nabi Azad said it. The whole world heard and is making fun of India. And the ministry. The Health Minister said these words “Men having sex with men is a disease!”

Shallow, callous, stupid, archaic, unscientific… I’ll run out of adjectives to describe the statement. I’m ashamed and appalled. I don’t know how I can show my face around.

Strangely, this coincides with my 4th anniversary of meeting Vinokur. Happy anniversary of friendship, Vinokur!

Saturday night gigs are awesome

2011-07-03T22:38:00.000+05:30

I have my own criticism on Not Just Jazz by the Bay. I know it is a famous venue for live performances even from the early days of Independence, when it was called ‘Talk of the Town’ – they still have their Butter Chicken dish named after their old name – which is what my friend and band mate Robin always has for dinner when we are gigging at the venue.

Anyway, about the problems with playing there – the stage is small, we have to play 3 hours almost continuously, the venue is small, the pay is almost non-existent, the entry charges are steep, and the sound is not up to scratch.

Yet, playing there on Saturday nights is something else. The place is packed and gets behind you every time. Let me tell you something – there is nothing like the feeling that you get while performing in front of receptive audience – I think it is almost as satisfactory and rewarding as seeing a patient walk after surgery.

Yesterday was one such day. The crowd was wonderful. We played well. And we enjoyed a hell lot. Thanks Cirkles!

Gig vs Gay party

2011-07-02T22:29:00.000+05:30

So, tonight, I paid the price of having two jobs. I had to ‘work’ on a night when the biggest gay party of the year (perhaps – the venue was Blue Frog, and it featured man performances by LGBT artists – I was even invited to perform my songs). Yes, I have a gig with Cirkles at Not Just Jazz By The Bay (which has been apparently renamed as Pizza by the Bay).

I don’t think I should be complaining too much. It’s fun to play in Cirkles and Saturday night crowds at Jazz are always fun. Plus, I’m earning some money. But I would still miss a wonderful party – my friend at office had plans to go and was inviting me. But that’s life and I had to choose ‘work’ over ‘play’.

The Last XP crash

2011-07-01T22:19:00.000+05:30

After my monitor, it was my computer. Yes, my 3-year-old machine is crashing very regularly now. This time, even System Restore didn’t work. I had to call in my computer technician and he re-installed Win XP. It took about 5 hours (and multiple attempts).

The balls that I have shown in the last few days (fixing my monitor, buying the new bass pedal) make me feel that I am in for a new computer pretty soon. I am already in talks with the computer guy. I think it will happen this weekend. Godspeed!

I’m over it, I tell you!

2011-06-30T22:13:00.000+05:30

My LCD monitor crapped on me yesterday. Today, I took it to service. They told me it could take days. In the afternoon, they call me back and say that there was a power issue and they had fixed it. The downside, I am 2K down. Yet, in the middle of all this, I go ahead an buy this beauty – the Tech 21 Sansamp VT Bass Deluxe!

Finally, I have some balls. For the past two years, I have been chickening out on investing on something. Now, I have turned it around. :) I have my monitor back and have the bass processor pedal in the market!

Shor Bazaar, Cirkles, Overhung, Bad Influence, and Ideat Savant – you guys are in for a treat!

Slutwalk for men?

2011-06-29T21:47:00.000+05:30

First of all, let me make this clear. I am totally pro-Slutwalk. I totally agree with the concept that what women wear or not should not be a reason for men or women to feel like pouncing on them and sexually harassing them.

However, the only thing that I don’t understand is this: Why should Slutwalk be restricted to just women? Why can’t men also protest for the same reasons? Why can’t we also wear what we want the way we want and not be sexually provocative to women and men?

I think a sex-based Slutwalk is totally sexist. Who cares to share their opinion?

Horror at work

2011-06-28T21:22:00.000+05:30

I am glad to admit that I work in one of the best office environments. The people are work place are just lovely and we have lots of freedom and flexibility. It’s quite a pleasure to be working there. But the pleasure ends when the clock strikes 9 pm in the night.

If for some reason, you end up staying at the office, doing some extra work after 9 pm, everyone plots to ensure that you have the most horrible experience. Mind you, I work in a company that deals in language editing and translation. So, peace and quietness are prerequisites.

So, this is what happens at 9 pm.

The ACs in the main bay get switched off. I think it is a silly administration policy to save electricity, making it unreasonable to all those who work late.
Once the comforting hum of the ACs are gone, form some reason people start speaking loudly. If you are trying to concentrate on your work, you might as well give up.
The icing in the cake is the sudden onset of loud music. From almost everywhere – speaker phones, loud annoying ring tones, and people playing their choice of music on computer speakers! The other day, my boss, a fellow rocker, had the chutzpah to play Dream Theater loud. Give me a break!

I hope someone takes some action to prevent/avoid all of this.

Nominal idiosyncrasies

2011-06-27T15:31:00.000+05:30

Well, this term probably doesn’t exist. Hence, I’ll define it for you.

Nominal idiosyncrasy (n): The phenomenon of an idiosyncrasy getting attached to a particular name of a person so much that it is hard to think of anyone else with the same name. Because of this phenomenon, ordinary proper nouns become adjectives.

I can think of a few. If you can think of more please add them as comments.

Arindam – someone who is a jerk, sycophantic, and is an attention-mongering whiner; a person with a stupid face, glasses, and a pony tail; a person who is certified number one in legal exposure.

Arnab – someone who is a jerk, who would never let anybody else complete a sentence, who never lets anybody else’s opinion seemingly matter; self-obsessed prick.

Anthony – someone who is a politician who will send out semi-obscene messages to young women with attached pictures of himself in his underwear; someone who has just an average penis but thinks that it is bigger than that.

Bill – someone who is a politician whose wife is also a politician; someone who has oral sex with his secretary (such secretaries are called Monica irrespective of their sex); someone who is obsessed with sex.

William Shatner–I love you!

2011-06-26T15:10:00.000+05:30

I was a bit late. But I did it. I watched all the three movies in the Star Trek (original) motion picture series. I must say that William Shatner, who broke many a woman/man’s heart with his incredible looks and acting skills during the time of the TV series and the movie trilogy, just broke mine too.

All I can think of is to get married to him. And then I look him up on Wikipedia and find that he’s married. What the fuck? Is there no justice in this world? William, at least you could have remained committed to Spock, who says to him the following with such depth:

“Kirk, I’ll always be yours!”

To get rid of all your sins, William, I advise you to fly over to India, dip yourself in Ganges three times, come to Mumbai, wash all the dirt off in a clean shower, and invite me over to your hotel room for hot sex. Only that will do!

What do you call this?

2011-06-26T14:59:00.001+05:30

So, I met this guy from Canada. He was born and brought up in India in the early days of independent India. He spent about the first couple of decades of his life in India (in Mumbai and in a boarding school somewhere nearby). Of course, he is gay. He realized back when he as a school-going child. And of course, he is handsome. And he is white.

Gay. Handsome. White. Kid.

What does that read to an average Indian boarding school-going kid who is elder to him?

Sex.

That’s as simple as that. Apparently, he was raped many a time (not always sodomized, but he was a few times, and that’s why he doesn’t like sodomy that much anymore). He claims that it was fairly common for this activity to be happening back in the ‘50s and guesses that it might still be.

I guess, India is far from homophobic then, isn’t it? Homophilic, perhaps. And what do you call this behavior? I know it is illegal to have sex with minors. But this phenomenon is not quite pedophilia, is it?

Sorry for being judgmental

2011-06-25T14:49:00.000+05:30

I grew up to Nokia mobile phones. The first two phones that I had were Nokia. Since then, however, not just because I moved on to a better company (read Sony Ericsson), I have seen the company and their phones going from bad to worse. Much before the iPhone/Android invasion into the mobile space, Nokia started losing the plot.

Handset-wise, even now, everything they make seems like a copy of some other brand. But the real flaw in their set up was the good-for-nothing OS that they had. Symbian or not, every other company was making progress to do something about improving the OS. Blackberry had it’s own. All the other major brands went Android. And iPhone had iOS. Nokia just got stuck in that bad place.

Now, they are going to drop their Symbian platform and go for the Windows Mobile OS. If you are a PC user, you would have started hating Windows as soon as you started using it. Why did Nokia have to go for the worst amongst them all?

This is why I have decided that, as on this date 25/06/2011, anybody buying a new Nokia phone has to be either dumb or stupid. Either of those. Or both or those. Why would you buy Nokia when you have so many better options available.

If you think that I’m the only one out here who thinks like this, please check your social networks once more. You will realize for yourself.

The Dentist Appointment

2011-06-24T15:05:00.000+05:30

I did it! Finally, after procrastinating for more than two years, I visited a dentist in Mumbai. Thankfully, everything is fine. I don’t yet need a root canal. One of cavities, thanks to my two years of braces, has progressed into a mammoth one size of a crater on the moon looked on from Earth through a telescope, apparently. But that was filled today. Next time it will be root canal.

I feel so empowered. I am taking care of myself now.

To be gay in India

2011-06-24T00:40:00.000+05:30

Someone started a hashtag on Twitter #ToBeGayinIndia. I don’t quite know what was the motive behind it. I bet it was something negative –something about the hardships that gay/lesbian/transgender people face being out in public in India.

Having been out for about 15 years now, in varying levels of ‘outness’, with the present level being completely out, I think that India (Kerala + Mumbai) is very gay friendly. It’s just that people don’t realize it. That’s the irony in it. People just think that India isn’t all that friendly and they choose to stay in closets of relative sizes.

I have had practically no bad experiences having been gay in India, except for perhaps finding an apartment to live with another man in an apartment (when Vinokur came down in 2008). Other than, touch wood, it’s been a wonderful 15 years of being out in India.

Look at me – I am out in all facets of my life, out on all social networks, have an active blog, and have a very promising gay social life, which unfortunately I don’t participate much in. The only bad thing is that, because of the problem that I mentioned above, I haven’t found a good partner for me from India.

This problem would be solved if people started embracing themselves instead of blaming the society for not embracing them. As simple as that!

Cam drinking

2011-06-23T00:31:00.000+05:30

You must have already heard of or tried cam sex. It’s a very practical way to do what you cannot do otherwise – have sex with random people all over the world. Plus, it’s masturbation version 2.0.

However, have you ever thought of drinking with someone else on live video cam? It’s very comfortable, cheap and inexpensive way to socialize. You can hit up with anyone around the world and share a few drinks with each other without the annoyances of going to a bar/party.

I have never tried it out myself. But I’m sure I will soon, one of these days. All you need a good guy at the other end who’s interested in drinking and having a conversation. The only problem that I face is that the time that I like to drink happens to morning/afternoon in the Western world. Most people wouldn’t be up for a drink then.

My only worry is that this phenomenon might make me indulge in more alcohol than what is desirable. But I think I have enough self-control to not be an alcohol addict.

I also bet that this what ever alcoholic said to him/her before he/she became one.:P

The stark resemblances

2011-06-22T22:45:00.000+05:30

Here’s a riddle. Two things. Vastly different things. But a thousand similarities. Here are some.

Loud, tasteless, cringe-worthy music
Too crowded for fun
Full of self-obsessed men
More brawn than brain
Lots of sweat
Not conversation worthy
Expensive
Weird dance stuff happen
Need high motivation

You think you have the answer? Well, here it is.

A gym and a gay party. I find it hard to go to either. And that’s why I’ll remain single for a long, long time.

The stolen Kinetic Honda

2011-06-21T22:31:00.000+05:30

So, I get a call from the Sub-Inspector Kadam. Two years and 4 months after the last time I spoke with him last. He was using a different number from the one that I had stored in my phone.

“Dr. Krishna?”

“Yes, haan bol raha hoon.”

“Aapka Kinetic Honda mil gaya hai.n BMC ke godown main tha.”

“…”

“Kahaan se?”

“Parel, godown se!”

“Aap ko aake payment dena padega gaadi godown se laane ke liye.”

“Theek hain. Main aataa hoon!”

I couldn’t quite believe it. I had lost it on the day that I had joined working Crimson. Now it is back? What condition would it be in? How much money would I need out dish out to get it back on the road? Can it ever be in working condition?

Your past is never going to leave you alone, I tell you.

And, good job *COUGH* Mumbai Police!

You aren’t on Twitter yet?

2011-06-20T22:12:00.000+05:30

I mean, are you guys serious? You don’t want to develop your teeny-weeny brains? What the fuck? You don’t care about being funny and getting to know the truth from around the world? If not for all of the above, aren’t you tired of FaceBook yet? Come on, give me a break. Get yourself together and sign up for the coolest thing on the world at this very moment. Why? Because it might not be so in a few more days. You will get to know why. Very soon. Very very soon.

All this is inspired by the wonderful tag #AapChutiyeHain.

http://twitter.com/#!/bass_man_1979/status/82654344331268096

Father's Day - not your kind

2011-06-19T23:08:00.000+05:30

Today is Father’s day. A day in which people say all kinds of lovey-dovey things about their fathers. Unfortunately, I don’t have anything of that sort to share with you. My relationship with my father never took off. He was in another parallel universe altogether, I think.

The only lasting memory from my childhood that I have is my father picking up and throwing me out of the pooja room when the ball that I was playing with accidentally popped in there and I went there to pick it up. I landed about 4 feet out and didn’t have any serious injuries.

From that day onward, I knew that I was not going to get any ‘classic’ love from my father. Oh, well!

Date Night

2011-06-18T23:02:00.000+05:30

Since yesterday didn’t work out, I decided that that was it. I need to break out of my social celibacy. Plus, a date - A ‘dinner/conversation date which would go on to the party and then we would see from there’ date. It was a semi-blind date – a friend of a dear friend of mine – the same guy that hadn’t got my jokes. I was apprehensive to say the least.

So, I went and met this guy and we had dinner over whiskey/vodka. The conversation was not the most brilliant and it was more one-sided than you expect a date to ideally be. Throw in some weird concepts and ideologies, it wasn’t far too entertaining or interesting.

From there, we went on to the party, where I met my dear friend, who gave me some respite. We went on to wine and beer at the party, but the conversation never took off. However, I got to know three interesting facts during the night: 1, Picasso painted realism fantastically :-O; 2, Lady Gaga played good piano; and 3, Not Just Jazz By the Bay used to a gay cruising place.

What this means is that I just have one guy on the radar. The funny guy!

Bar Night that got canceled

2011-06-17T22:44:00.000+05:30

This afternoon, I got the sudden urge to break my social celibacy by going to a ‘bar night’ at a new venue. I coaxed my friend and colleague to come with me to check out the new venue and cruise men. He agreed. I also decided to invite a few of my straight colleagues from work. Three of them agreed too!

It was all set. It was a new place. I was excited.

Alas, in the evening, around 6.30, I came to know that the party was canceled. And they hadn’t even announced it on the FaceBook page or anything (or I hadn’t seen it). This is outrageous and disappointing. :(

To become a father

2011-06-16T22:02:00.000+05:30

I want to be a father. I am already 31 years old and I think within the next 9 years or so, I have to figure out a way to become a father. Or else, I will be too old to be one. There are many criteria that need to be satisfied, I think, before I can think of becoming one.

A huge bank account
A steady, healthy life
A stable, live-in partner/spouse

Once I have the pre-requisites, I have two options: surrogacy or adoption. I would prefer surrogacy to adoption because there will be an element of my lineage being upheld in the long run. However, with the increasing population, it would be foolish to bring another child into this overpopulated world.

The other day, there was a debate on single parent (single male parent) adoption on television. Apparently, they are trying to bring in laws to make things more difficult for single parents to adopt. They seem crazy and most of the panelists on this debate seemed to disagree.

On a funnier note, when I introduced the idea of me desiring to become a father to my Mom, she expressed dismay in an e-mail reply, which went something like this: ‘Well, if you want to become a father, you would have to marry a girl. If you don’t do that, how can you have a child?’

Need For Humor

2011-06-15T21:44:00.000+05:30

How much does humor have a role in your life? In my life, I would say almost 90%. I can’t live without humor. I can’t hang around people who can’t appreciate it. Those who don’t get my jokes go to the chopping block.

One of the first persons on this list was my sister. She stopped getting my jokes awhile back and our relationship has deteriorated since. Although my mother is a little dense, she still gets some of my jokes. My father, whose sense of humor is more developed than my mother’s or sister’s, still is weird. Only in actual physical conversations would I get him to appreciate my jokes.

Anyway, why am I on a rant? Because I have to go out with two people in the near future – one, who doesn’t seem to get my humor and another one who’s the jack of all kinds of humor. I’m sorry but I’m already having a bias toward the second one. The first one better be interesting, failing which he’ll have to be axed.

Discussion Confidants

2011-06-14T21:35:00.000+05:30

I read about the new Pew Research Center’s study findings about social networking sites and their impact on our social life. Please go to the link to read the full story

The one interesting thing that I found in the study is that an average American citizen has just two close people in their lives with whom they share their intimate details. I think I have something like a dozen or so people with whom I’m very open about my problems. But not everything to all of them. Does that mean that I don’t even have a single discussion confidant in my life? Weird!

I need instructions to live my life

2011-06-13T21:30:00.000+05:30

If I could choose one album name to define my tendency to live a comfortable life, it would have to be Zero’s ‘Procrastination’. I don’t know why I’m starting out with such a twisted sentence – I guess I just didn’t want to introduce the ‘P’ word directly. Anyhow, this morning I had the sudden urge to tell my confidante at the office that I need to do away with some of it. And I decided to give her the right to choose what I should do when. She gave me some instructions. According to that plan, here’s how it is going to go.

First, it is going to be the upgrade of my computer – a full-fledged update which would enable me to start recording . Then it is going to some much-needed additions to my wardrobe. Then it is going to be a new smartphone. Then it is going to be a new refrigerator. At last, in winter, it is going to be an AC.

Having received these instructions, I have already consulted a friend of mine about upgrading my computer. I have also passed my friend’s suggestions to my computer guy so that he could give me a quotation of the approximate price. The only bad thing is this – I had done something similar about a year back. But then, I chickened out at the last instance. I hope I bring my plans to fruition.

X-men: First Class

2011-06-12T20:40:00.002+05:30

Considering the rain and my tendency to cancel all kinds of social plans (even when I'm the only person involved), I consider this as a remarkable feat. After 6 months or so of movie theater celibacy (wait a minute, it might be even more. I can't remember the last movie that I watched in a theater), I finally coaxed myself to watch X-men: First Class.

Well, I didn't do it all by myself. I had to get out of my apartment so that my maid could clean it - I feel very uncomfortable in my apartment when my maid is around because I can't do anything that I want. So the maid made me do it. She had initially knocked my door when I was having lunch. I asked her to come an hour later. I had an hour to make plans. So I looked up the listings of the movie and I found a 3 pm show at the nearby multiplex.

It felt really weird to spend Rs. 220 for a front-row ticket. But I didn't have an option. I was there really early, and to distract myself I got on to Twitter. A bunch of nerds were talking about Kung Fu Panda in hindi at the waiting area. It sounded really dumb and I was so irritated that I had to get up and start walking up and down.

The movie itself was just okay. I know it is Marvel. I know it is X-men. I couldn't have missed it. But still, the storyline was a little to weak for me. The acting was so-so. As usual, Magneto was the hottest. It was not Sir Ian McKellen. Instead, a chap called Michael Fassbender. Really hot, I tell you!

But the most striking note of the movie experience was this - I thought that the audience was really lame because they laughed at the most mediocre of jokes in the movie. Was my requirement of levels of humor getting too high for the average person?

Damp squib

2011-06-11T20:26:00.000+05:30

Saturday was the moment of reckoning. I would know by the end of Saturday if I was really enjoying my life again. I had it all packed up with a brunch date and a gig with Cirkles in the evening.

Then it poured. All sorts of mammals. By the time I woke up, I had almost made up my mind to take a rain-check for the date. To make things less uncomfortable, I texted my date. I didn't get a reply for a few minutes. I was anxious and I called him. He answered my phone and said that it was okay. Phew, close shave. Shades of social phobia manifesting again. This time, there was actual rain.

Then I went back to spending my day watching South Park and sleeping. I dozed off to a wonderful siesta and was determined not to wake up until I had to take shower before starting to the venue. Then, I got a message from my band mate that the gig was canceled due to rain and one of our band mates being unwell.

I was relieved once again. Not needing to exercise your social skill for the second time in the same day felt like a blessing! But I was disappointed at not performing for the gig. I was all excited about this gig and was planning to take two bass guitars to be used for different sets. Well, whatever!

Sense of Humor

2011-06-10T20:32:00.000+05:30

So, I have this big date coming up tomorrow. After many months, I was finally stepping out for a date. I was excited about it. Well, partially at least. Because we had made plans earlier in the week and there was a period of incommunicado between us, I decided to text my date. I had to work up some humor.

It was a brunch date. So I asked him...

"Do you expect me to report to you at 11.30 am starving?"

To which, he replied...

"Yes. What do you like to eat? Non veg/Veg?"

I was perplexed. No sense of detection of irony. I texted...

"Everything but babies and women."

I got no reply from my date.

There went most of my excitement. No humor detected. At least on irony/sarcasm. I was worried. Worried enough to call our common friend to check up on the same. Our common friend assured me that he had some sense of humor. But it might not be up my alley.

So, we'll have to see.

Naïve Mom

2011-06-09T20:09:00.000+05:30

I explained what happened between me and him to my Mom. In an e-mail, that is - we still don't talk or chat. She told me to be positive and said that the right man would come. I replied saying that I am a little sad because I wanted to become a father soon.

She wrote to me today saying: 'If you want to become a father, you have to marry a girl!'

So innocent, so naïve.

I told her that there are other options like surrogacy and adoption. She hasn't responded back yet!

Single again

2011-06-06T23:45:00.003+05:30

Last week, I posted about getting signals from a friend of mine that he wanted to be in a relationship with me. That turned out to be a false alarm after all. Today we talked on Skype and we have come to the conclusion that it's not going to work out because of some major issues.

But we'll remain friends!

So, I'm single again. I don't know if I should be happy or not.

A mixture of everything

2011-06-02T20:47:00.002+05:30

It was a crazy day. Lack of proper sleep thanks to a band photo shoot sort of ruined it initially. But the workplace always brings the smile back to my face. So far, so good, I said.

Then I read the e-mail about the new dress code policy at work. There it was - 't-shirts and shirts have to be tucked in'. I reluctantly tucked my small t-shirt into my already undersized (thanks to the weight that I have put on) jeans. Portliness was showing.

I had to even go check in the mirror how fat I looked. Well 'not fat, healthy,' I said to myself, trying to calm myself. People commented on my portliness. And despite all that, I chose to slice the work day into two with an episode of bingeing on three separate biriyanis.

I had to sort of work faster so as to make it to a rehearsal in time. Yet I reached late by half an hour. Then came the surprise. At the jam pad, I met the bass player who I replaced. He was jamming with the band when I made my way in. Quickly he unplugged his gear and let me plug mine in.

I aksed him 'Hey, howz it going?' and he said 'It's not happening man. They aren't giving me the visa. I am here now.' Then it struck me. Was I eating into his bread? Would the band get him back on board? What will I do, then?

All through the jam, he was there in the jam room, probably carefully analysing what his replacement was doing. Insecurity, self-esteem issues, a feeling of inadequacy - everything was creeping in. I was uncomfortable throughout and fucked up almost every song.

And then it rained. No, it poured. Pre-monsoon showers? Who knows? Anyway, a slice of heaven on earth, but only for those not needing to travel. Once the jam was over, I felt like rushing home and being inside. Safe, comfortable, secure, albeit with a desire to improve and to overcome my insecurities.

The cheeseburger of my life

2011-06-01T20:11:00.000+05:30

Performing at the Hard Rock Café Mumbai is a thrilling experience for me. For the first three years of my Mumbai life, I used to be a regular among the audience there. I always used to dream about performing there.

Six years into Mumbai, and three years into professional music here, I have performed several times at the venue. The excitement is not as high as it used to be. But the thrill of consummating my relationship with the Hard Rock Café special cheeseburger lives on.

Every time I'm at the Hard Rock Café, I look forward to having the juiciest burger in town. I believe it is the best in Mumbai. Ah, the perks of being a musician!

Not Single Anymore

2011-05-31T17:05:00.000+05:30

Yesterday, I told Rich that my friend from France was visiting me in July and that I didn't want to have sex him. I knew that Rich likes a monogamous relationship. He told me to tell my friend the truth. So I told Rich that I'll tell my friend that I'm in a relationship and hence sex is out of question.

Rich said 'okay'.

This means that I'm indeed in a relationship with the quiet, soft-spoken, shy, but lovable Rich. That makes me very happy. :-)

I don't need to conjure up more excuses for my self-imposed celibacy now!

And lastly, Rich, if you are reading this, I love you!

It's been awhile

2011-05-30T18:19:00.001+05:30

I love that song. It reminds me a lot about the late 1990s when the world was a much better place vis-a-vis music. The period also ushered in an era of WorldSpace - cheap, quality music to the subcontinent. But that's not the point of this post.

It's been awhile since I posted. I have been busy. But more than that, I've been lazy. Apologies.

But I'm back!

:-)

Inspiration

2011-04-26T23:27:00.000+05:30

You know that you have to update your blog and you are suddenly itching with ideas. But… darned, you are a work and can’t (ethically) quite put the ideas down. And when you get out of your office, ideas come rushing through and you can’t quite start blogging right away. Instead, you jot down on a list of things to blog about on your PDA and rush back home and start blogging.

Well, that’s exactly what happened to me today. I cleared a backlog of two weeks of blogging!

Scre4m

2011-04-25T23:21:00.000+05:30

This is one of those movies which don’t scare you at all. It keeps on amusing you with twists and turns, with blood and gore, with stereotypes and old characters in slightly twisted roles. Plus, if you are a fan of the Scary Movie franchise, this is a must-watch. The end is refreshing with a big twist in the plot. I would give this 3 stars because when you were thinking that they can’t come up with another sequel to Scream 3, they came up with one and it’s not that bad.

The Adjustment Bureau

2011-04-24T23:09:00.001+05:30

I thought this might a bit like Inception. At least the previews seemed to suggest some sort of a sci-fi drama kinda feel to the movie. Well, it stayed good until the ending which got to be a little too much of mush. A good concept executed adequately but ending in a bit of a drab. I’ll give it 2.5 stars.

Once I start watching movies, there is nothing stopping me. So expect a lot of movie reviews from me. Next one up is Scre4m.

2011: Battle Los Angeles

2011-04-23T22:58:00.000+05:30

After a long, long time, I decided to watch a movie. I had planned to watch this movie in the theater when it was showing a month or so back. But, as usual, I chickened out. I’m glad that I did.

The movie is more action than conceptual sci-fi. The only refreshing thing about the movie is that it doesn’t have a cheesy ending and that it introduces a concept of aliens invading our planet for its liquid water content.

All in all, I’ll give it a 1.5 star.

Are you still on those pills?

2011-04-22T22:53:00.000+05:30

I was at the venue of the gig yesterday. The band was having dinner. After I finished mine, I opened my backpack and took out of pills (for depression and chronic urticaria) and laid them on the table so that I can take them.

My good friend and band mate who was watching me do it asks me: “Are you still on those pills? Why are you still depressed?” I tried to tell him the facts – that I’m suffering fro depression and am under therapy for it. He still didn’t get it.

This is the state with most people who don’t understand mental illnesses. They think that such illnesses come and go as and when you want them to, and that when situations change, the illnesses disappear by themselves.

All I want to say is this. Clinical depression doesn’t go away when situation becomes better. It needs continuous therapy from which people benefit. If you were not aware of this, now that you have read this, please don’t ask such questions to your friend/family when they bring such topics up.

Judgment Day

2011-04-21T21:44:00.000+05:30

Today, April 21st 2011, is the latest date in the series of postponed dates for the Judgement Day from the Terminator franchise. Judgment day is the day when Skynet, the supercomputer system comes to realize about its own existence and launches a nuclear attack on humanity, ending up controlling them with robots.

Nothing has happened yet. I think Sarah Connor and Arnold Schwarzenegger have managed to avert/postpone this eventuality. But honestly, till when?

The balance

2011-04-20T21:13:00.000+05:30

Another band of mine always seem to go through the problem of striking the balance between performing songs (covers) for the crowd and having fun by playing songs that the band mates enjoy playing. Most of the time, the band tends to choose the set to please the crowd, thereby boring the musicians themselves.

There has to be a solution to this. Otherwise, the frustration will grow to such a level that we don’t enjoy playing with each other anymore.

Another opportunity missed

2011-04-19T21:05:00.002+05:30

Communication is the most important skill of all. Unfortunately, some of my band mates seem to not have the necessary skill. When an opportunity comes knocking your doors, you need to grab it with all your limbs. In this case, it was a break that the band would have benefited from immensely. Of course, only if the offer makers stick to their word. But that’s the same for most of our lives, is it not.

In this case, one of the band mates suddenly decides to throw in the towel saying that he has had enough of rehearsing tirelessly without any gigs. Another doesn’t even bother to reply to an e-mail about whether to meet up with this new person who has come up with the offer. The rest of the members of the band (including me) are left in the dark. And of course, we can’t proceed further.

Talk about bad luck!

State of Affairs

2011-04-18T20:55:00.001+05:30

Am I in a relationship? I would like to consider so. He is far far away and has a busy life. The maximum I can hope is to meet him twice a year when he visits India. But the crux of the matter is this - the kind of feelings that I have for him have not been reciprocated. Neither do I know if they ever will be.

These are the facts. I know for a fact that he’s not into me as I’m into him. I, actually, am almost in love with him, but I’m trying to keep my feelings in check. From what I can make out, I don’t think he has the skills/desire to keep the fire of a long-distance relationship raging on.

We talk to each other regularly – almost on all days. This is by phone – yes, long-distance calls on international calling cards. Our conversations are usually brief and we never get to a point where it gets nice and cozy. I hardly see him on Skype or Yahoo, and when I do, he is usually busy doing some chore or the other. It almost seems as if he doesn’t have time for me.

What do I feel? I feel a tad disappointed. Yet, I realize that I cannot force him to change - to propel his feelings to another level. At the same time, I feel extremely attracted to him and I think that he’s worth the bill. I would like to try to take this as far as I can and put in as much effort as possible. And I hope that we will reach a place where we can both feel happy about each other.

Of course, he will read this post some day or the other. When he does, I want to make it clear to him that this is not emotional blackmail. It’s just an honest assessment of the state of affairs.

Drummer, the pariah

2011-04-17T20:33:00.001+05:30

I have a new friend from New York. (What’s with me and the Big Apple?) Anyway, he’s a cultured, interesting, funny, intelligent ex-Texan with whom I vastly enjoy interacting with. Here's an example of the interesting things he comes up with. The other day, he came across the etymology of the word pariah.

pariah: 1610s, from Port. paria or directly from Tamil paraiyar, pl. of paraiyan “drummer” (at festivals, the hereditary duty of members of the largest of the lower castes of southern India), from parai “large festival drum.” Especially numerous at Madras, where its members supplied most of the domestics in European service. Applied by Hindus and Europeans to members of any low Hindu caste and even to outcastes. Extended meaning “social outcast” is first attested 1819.

Why are drums associated with lowliness or disgrace? Is it because they are so basic, perhaps the first instrument ever made? Not only is the drummer himself an outcast, drums (not bugles) are used to heighten a soldier’s humiliation in a drumming out ceremony. The OED dates the first usage of “drumming out of the corps” to 1766 in Thomas Amory's “The Life of John Buncle,” 150 years after the first recorded use of pariah.

To explain why drummers were members of the lowest caste -- drumming was an occupation performed by the Dalit or untouchable caste because drums were made from the tanned hides of animals and thus once associated with death. Therefore, the task of beating on them fell to the Dalit caste, who also performed other “unclean” occupations having to do with death and human waste.

To round this post of:

Q: What is the definition of a band?
A: Three musicians and a drummer. (ba-da-boom!)

(Courtesy largely to Robert Geoffrey McMillin)

Family drama

2011-04-16T20:22:00.000+05:30

My folks have found a buyer for our old house and they are almost on the verge of selling it. Once the transaction is done, they will be left with a lot of money. They insist that I receive a share of it.

Going by the past history between me and my folks, if thing have to ever improve, money should not be a part of our relationship. I have clearly indicated that I don’t want any money from them. But my Mom keeps on insisting. This situation makes me not want to video chat with her anymore.

How did it end up like this?

2011-04-15T20:13:00.001+05:30

I can’t explain it. It’s part telephobia. It’s almost like selective telephobia. I didn’t pick up a call from my sister today. I sent her an SMS saying that I didn’t feel like talking. She was apparently just trying to wish me a happy Keralaite New Year, and was extremely disappointed.

The only calls that I pick up without much of a problem are those from my band mates and those from my friends from abroad (older friends). Sometimes, I pick up anonymous calls, and if I find that they are telemarketers, I hang up almost instantly. Not even a courtesy “No thanks!”

The persons who I make calls to are even more restrictive – band mates and and my friends from abroad. The calls to band mates are strictly business-like, whereas to my friends from abroad, I open up and talk a bit. No family. No best friends. No college mates. No colleagues/ex-colleagues.

Yet, I’m much better off talking to people who I’m comfortable with on text/video chat than anything else. I haven’t a fucking clue as to how things ended up like this.

Evening bandh - IPL

2011-04-14T19:59:00.000+05:30

The IPL has started. Their advertisements say that it will be Bharath Bandh for the whole 6 weeks of cricketainment. Although that seems a little far-fetched, IPL has definitely affected my life tremendously.

My evening life has come to a virtual standstill. The only thing that I want to do every evening is to come home and watch the game on the telly. I don’t want to go for rehearsals or even perform at gigs. As you can see, I’m updating my blog after a long gap of two weeks.

My online friends and family also have faced the consequences. Nowadays, I don’t want to chat with my Mom or my friends in the night when the game is on. Apart from the fact that I’ll be missing the action, I’ll be distracted by the match, and I consider it impolite to be distracted while having a one-on-one conversation.

And when it ends, it will leave a big vacuum in my life. I don’t know what to plug the vacuum with.

My own R2-D2

2011-04-13T19:48:00.001+05:30

I was at a rehearsal the other day. As usual, I had gone directly from work and I unloaded my stuff on my friend’s table. The stuff unloaded included my wallet, my mobile phone, my bag, and my mp3 player.

Yes, you heard right. An mp3 player. Not an iPod. That’s right. I don’t have an iPod. In fact, I have never had one. My mp3 player is so retro that one of my band mates came up to me and said “What is R2-D2 doing here?”

Coming to think of it, yes, my mp3 player (Creative Zen Micro) looks likes the famous Star Wars character. Here check out a comparison of the images of the two. A white rounded structure with blinking lights.

Unfortunately, my mp3 player is not as resourceful or evergreen as R2-D2. It’s giving me a whole lot of problems and I’ve been considering buying an iPod classic (or a similar player) for about a year now. Should I switch to Apple?

I feel I should. But I don't know when I will eventually do this.

Obama's address to gay youth

2011-04-12T21:34:00.000+05:30

This is a very inspiring video address by President Obama to LGBT youth in America. With our own fight against section 377 nearing a close in the Supreme Court, can we hope for similar speeches in India?

Like all of you, I was shocked and saddened by the deaths of several young people who were bullied and taunted for being gay, and who ultimately took their own lives. As a parent of two daughters, it breaks my heart. It's something that just shouldn't happen in this country.

We've got to dispel the myth that bullying is just a normal rite of passage – that it's some inevitable part of growing up. It's not. We have an obligation to ensure that our schools are safe forall of our kids. And to every young person out there you need to know that if you're in trouble, there are caring adults who can help.

I don't know what it's like to be picked on for being gay. But I do know what it's like to grow up feeling that sometimes you don't belong. It's tough. And for a lot of kids, the sense of being alone or apart – I know can just wear on you. And when you're teased or bullied, it can seem like somehow you brought it on yourself – for being different, or for not fitting in with everybody else.

But what I want to say is this. You are not alone. You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't do anything to deserve being bullied. And there is a whole world waiting for you, filled with possibilities. There are people out there who love you and care about you just the way you are. And so, if you ever feel like because of bullying, because of what people are saying, that you're getting down on yourself, you've got to make sure to reach out to people you trust. Whether it's your parents, teachers, folks that you know care about you just the way you are. You've got to reach out to them, don't feel like you're in this by yourself.

The other thing you need to know is, things will get better. And more than that, with time you're going to see that your differences are a source of pride and a source of strength. You'll look back on the struggles you've faced with compassion and wisdom. And that's not just going to serve you, but it will help you get involved and make this country a better place.

It will mean that you'll be more likely to help fight discrimination – not just against LGBT Americans, but discrimination in all its forms. It means you'll be more likely to understand personally and deeply why it's so important that as adults we set an example in our own lives and that we treat everybody with respect. That we are able to see the world through other people's eyes and stand in their shoes – that we never lose sight of what binds us together.

As a nation we're founded on the belief that all of us are equal and each of us deserves the freedom to pursue our own version of happiness; to make the most of our talents; to speak our minds; to not fit in; most of all, to be true to ourselves. That's the freedom that enriches all of us. That's what America is all about. And every day, it gets better.

Dave Grohl - an inspiration

2011-04-11T21:42:00.004+05:30

Tonight, on my way back home from work, I read a very inspiring article on the life of Dave Grohl, who begin his musical career with Nirvana, not chasing fame and money, and who ended getting all that and more with his present band Foo Fighters. All I can say it is a very worthy read. Here is the link.

http://www.slate.com/id/2290837/

This article has given me some inspiration to get my own music recorded at a decent studio.

Navjot Singh Sidhu among others

2011-04-10T22:02:00.000+05:30

About a week back, I read on my Twitter timeline a tweet from an anchor on Extraaa Innings, the pre- post-show for IPL matches, that the anchor team was really good this time around. I immediately replied to him asking him if what he meant was that Sidhu wasn't going to be around time time around. Although I didn't get a reply, I hoped that there won't be any Sidhu.

Three days into IPL 4, I'm already tired of all the bullshit that you have to deal with to watch some interesting cricket. Apart from the incredibly annoying Sidhu, the "DLF maximums," the "Citi moment of successes," the "Karbon Kamaal Katches" and "Maxx Mobile Strategic Time Outs" are really making this a pain.

If the sponsors don't realize it by now, we are in it for the cricket and not the "entertainment."

Another dream realized

2011-04-09T23:35:00.000+05:30

Tonight, performing with the band Jar Of Flies to a packed venue full of cheering fans at B69 (Bajaao), I payed tribute to Alice In Chains, the band that inspired me be a musician. We played Alice In Chain's MTV Unplugged set almost completely (just missing out on one song because of lack of time), after which we played a small, tight electric set.

By doing what I did, I completed a wonderful circle of life. I still remember the days in the late 90s when I used to jam Alice In Chains with S on the drums. Tonight S was in the audience and he came up to me and said "You lived one more of your dreams! I'm proud of you!

Thanks to Howie, Nicky, Mikey, and Sheldy (the other members of Jar of Flies) for helping me live my dream!

IPL 4

2011-04-08T23:53:00.000+05:30

IPL 4 started today. I was so excited about its start that all I wanted was to reach home back from the college gig with Cirkles. I managed to catch the last ball of a riveting contest which was eventually won by the Chennai Super Kings.

But the real question is will the Indian public relish the T20 format and IPL when they are still basking in the glory of the World Cup win? I might be excited and pumped up to watch most of the matches (as much as I can). But I'm not sure about the rest of the Indian public.

Hence, I'm expecting low turn outs in the grounds. Let's see what happens!

Social phobia attack

2011-04-05T23:59:00.000+05:30

Tonight, I was at the Blue Frog for the launch of the debut album of Dischordian "Feni Farm Riot." Before I went in, I took my pills. Then I had a couple of shot of feni. Then, it struck me. The social phobia that is.

There were a lot of friends and bandmates in the crowd and all of a sudden, I didn't want to be with them. I escaped to a corner in the venue and I couldn't do anything but stare into my Twitter timeline and scroll through the various tweets.

Halfway through the gig, the social phobia was overwhelming. I was wondering how I would say bye to all these people individually. I decided to take off before the gig ended after sending SMSes to all my friends saying that I had an early day at work.

On the way out, I ran into a friend/bandmate who himself suffers from depression. I just said a "hi" and a "bye" in quick succession. Later, in an SMS, I told him that I had an acute attack of social phobia. He replied "It's okay. Take care."

I hope the entire world is as understanding.