Jan 4, 2011

A social/familial misfit

This Sunday evening, during a break during my songwriting/recording sessions, I logged on to the personal messengers. I found my sister online and started chatting with her. She told me that our cousins were all there visiting her. She also told me that she was chatting from the laptop that she had bought for my mother. She was actually testing the internet connection.

She asked me if I could help her check the bandwidth by video-chatting. I was feeling relatively okay then and said okay. We got connected over poor quality 'broadband' at their end. I saw my cousins huddled together around the computer.

We couldn't really 'talk' to each other thanks to the connection. And there was a whole lot of noise coming from their end. Too many people - three cousins, my sister, my parents, and my wailing niece - and too many conversations going on at the same time. A nightmare for a noise-conscious, ADD-esque, social phobic person like me. I tried working some humor, but my tastes of humor were not quite up to the tastes of my family - innuendos don't work, and any humor that I used came through as heavy sharp-toothed sarcasm, which doesn't really work with my family, except for a few uncles.

So, it was a less than memorable experience and I had to finally make an excuse of having to 'make' my dinner to get out of it. This made me so acutely aware of how much of a social misfit I will be if I ever dared to visit my family as I know it.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are in a situation where all you want is to avoid your family not because you are socially awkward but because you are not successful in life, apparently you totally screwed up your medical career for this useless no good rock band which is probably never going to take you anywhere or the writing job (i guess) that you are doing which I guess is equally useless. What you should have done is you should have continued with medicine and should have become a successful surgeon made a ton of money (which isnt very difficult for doctors especially surgeons) and then pursued this rock band career (or whatever it is called). When we are not successful in life and are doing trivial jobs and we see that people who went to school/college with us (or our siblings/cousins)are doing far better in their lives it is a very humiliating experience especially when we know that we could have done far better. And then obviously we want to avoid those successful friends cousins and so on, and we start producing excuses like "I am socially awkward, I am busy, I have a headache, I have to do laundry, I have to goto band practice and so on, but the bottom line is that we are embarassed by the choices we made in our career. If there is still time you should give it a second thought and go back to medicine if it is possible, what are you going to do 10 years from now? do you have a plan? if you are thinking at 45 you will be a successful rock star you are living in a fool's paradise. Thats India not USA or England... anyways I am sorry if I sound rude or anything, I am your age and I think you should know that you may regret the choices you made later and then it might be too late.

Kris Bass said...

That's a very strong comment. I wouldn't call it rude.

Anyway, I disagree with what you say. I believe that I can still pursue my music when I'm older and I have a bright career in academic editing as a back up.

So, I think I'm okay.

Kris

raining words said...

I strongly agree with you Kris. I am proud of you because you had the guts to pursue your dream. Kudos to you. And you are a brilliant young man. Success comes easy to those who have a will. And rest assured because yours is strong.
Also, not everyone is blessed with understanding, so forgive them ignorants.
Shalom my friend.

Kavita

Kris Bass said...

Thanks Kavita!

Nabila said...

i am a strong believer in finding ones bliss. having money and success doesn't mean anything if you arent happy 'inside' ;)! I havent 'spoken' to my dad in a year because he wanted me to conform n i didnt want to settle, but inshallah one day he will see me happy and in turn be happy for me! i believe if your dedicated and doing what you love, money, success and recognition will follow...eventually.

all the best and keep doing what your doing...cuz we love it!

Kris Bass said...

Thanks Nabila, for the comment, as well as for the support!

:)

Kris

Alan said...

Anonymous's ignorant and insulting and misguided comment should not be dignified with a reply, Kris. Forget her words and carry on.

Kris Bass said...

Thanks Al! <3 :)

Anonymous said...

Kris. You could be all wrong about your family. They seem new to the Online world that we live in. Perhaps, they are a bit akward, and a little intimedated by one who lives on line and is a blogger. You have to break them in.Most likely, they will change, the more online they are. Yep you guessed it. DONT YOU GET IT>> THEY ARE NEW TO ONLINE CHAT.

Kris Bass said...

I get it John! :) Yeah, and they aren't all that new to online life. We used to chat even 10 years back. So...