Feb 17, 2010

Walking through the jungle

So you are walking toward your destination in a hurry. A guitar and a backpack strapped to your shoulder and back, respectively, and you are trying to make good time. You're late by ten minutes already and are on the brink of drowning in shame and guilt. And you see these kinds of people walking in front of you:
  • Middle-aged women who walk slowly as if their uteruses would fall off if their perinei were stretched any further during the locomotive act - same reason why their husbands and spouses get more than adequate sleep in the night and grow obese.
  • Obese men walking slowly as if they are ambulating in their parallel universe where the gullies (and phalluses) are as wide as their waist size, but in reality their shrunken organs can't penetrate the pubic bush-crown of the abovementioned class of women - the same reason why this unfortunate couple stopped making kids.
  • Their kids act as if they grew on a land called Imbecilia. Sometimes they pair up and walk slowly as if they want to beat their moms and dads in cuntitude.
  • And then there are hawkers, peddlers, and similar beings who forgot to scratch their balls/butt before leaving home.
All of them together create this spectacular series of pedestrian bottlenecks. The Mumbai Municipal Road Development Authority is in liaison with all of them, I think. How else could we explain the strategically placed barricades and dugouts which confuse the shit out of cunning canines and felines attempting to traverse the stretch?

This is when you feel a tad abusive and whiny. You also feel the world is being unreasonably unreasonable to you and your diabolical plans to save yourself from humiliation due to hypochronomodulation.

3 comments:

Ria said...

This is one of the most hilarious blogs i have ever read till now. :)

KK you Rock dude! :)

shruta said...

"Whine without a cause" seems to be the mood today .. :P

Kris Bass said...

@Ria: TMK hilarious!

@Shruta: Aren't we all Whiners?