I have not been blogging too much about Vinokur lately. If you would ask me why, it is because we have apparently reached this splendid plateau in the relationship. It's almost as if we have been married for years. The traumatic phase sort of helped to mould us to this present state almost nonchalance.
Yesterday, a particular incident demonstrated this. We had a bitter argument about Vinokur starting to be dependent on another drug; an atypical antipsychotic drug which was meant to keep him eythymic. It's side effect was sedation and Vinokur was getting sleepy and tired in the day. I had asked him to take two tablets instead of three and that had resulted in a night of troubled sleep.
I suggested, rather bluntly, that he needed to stop taking the drug realizing that it was just another addiction in the making. I was worried about his health. In a tad selfish way, my health as well. Being what he is, he is incapable of even thinking of decreasing the dosage as the fear of insomnia would prevail.
At the end of it all, we seemed far away from getting towards the desired goal of keeping him safe. Both of us were pissed at each other and were angry at each other. We practically hung up on each other.
The whole night, I kept on worrying about what had happened. The more I worried, the more I started missing him.
Today, as it struck 8 AM in NYC, I was staring at the Skype activity window which would show if and when Vinokur would get up and about. The sight of his Skype icon changing it's status from 'idle' to 'online' brought in as much relief as emptying a bladder which hadn't been emptied in a about 12 hours.
I started the chat hesitantly.
'Good morning! Are you still mad at me?'
'No. Good afternoon to you.'
'How did you sleep last night?'
'Okay. I just took two as you had suggested.'
'Really? I hope you aren't kidding.'
'No, I'm not.'
'I want to call you and say 'I love you.'
... and I heard Skype ring.....
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