Of Horrorscopes

If I were a regular boring straight young adult from the southside of the Indian peninsula, my horoscope would have been published in various matrimonial magazines, websites and newspapers. Believe me, it would have been really platitudinal and it would have read something like this.

‘Dr. Kris, 28 year old orthopaedic surgeon (M. S. Orthopaedics (Mumbai), M. B. B. S. (Trivandrum)), 5’ 10”, slim, medium complexion seeks a bride 20 – 25 years of age, post graduate, preferably a doctor, 5’ 5” to 5’ 8”, slim, fair, beautiful who’s interested in music, reading, computers, etc. The bride shall be open to the option of staying abroad or in other cities in India. The bride shall also be from a wealthy family which will be willing to provide a luxury sedan and about 50 lakhs of rupees in cash.’

Now, the reason why I’m posting this is because during today’s conversation with my sister, she said that a couple of cousins of mine are getting their horoscopes published. This, down south, is considered a sign of maturing into this wonderful, responsible young adult who could lead a sparkling marital/parental life.

Awww, c’mon! These are the same people who haven’t gotten laid, haven’t been involved in a serious relationship and can’t practically take mature decisions. These are people who still drink without their parents knowing about it, who still live with their parents and who still make chauvinistic comments about women.

And naturally, such ‘horrorscopes’ lead to ‘not-so-special’ relationships!

I hope arranged marriages and marriages based on astrological features are abolished forever!

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