Over the past few months, especially after S. got kicked out of the band and was embraced back, things haven’t been very smooth inside the band. There have been frayed nerves, heated arguments, rude disagreements and all that stuff.I must confess that, call it paranoia even, I am apparently harboring this fear of being informed: ‘Look Kris, your attitude doesn’t fit the band. Neither do you look like you are interested in the band. We think you should leave the band!’.
I don’t know why these thoughts are simmering inside my my head. It really doesn’t seem logical. But I’m sure about one fact, I have not been having the kind of fun that I used to have with the band. I don’t know exactly why.
Maybe it is a change within me as I have clearly indicated that I need my own private space. I don’t want my private life to get ruined because of the band. That’s especially true with regard to the apparent dearth of sense of keeping-time; especially, not wasting others’ precious time. Maybe it’s that we suddenly leapfrogged from an amateur fun band to a professional, workman like band.
Whatever it is, I don’t like it and I’d like to go back to the state when having fun was equally important.
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