Oct 30, 2006

Mondayne thoughts

Monday came and went, and with that, the last of my back-to-back emergencies. Nothing other than the oncoming trouble in my next unit occupied my mind really. Only in such situations, when trouble is around the corner, do we ever feel that we are well off in the current situation. Ironic. That is life.

Oct 29, 2006

Sunday emergency went well

Another Sunday emergency goes by. This time it is the last in my present unit and also probably the last double emergency in consecutive days. For a Sunday, it was nice. I managed to assist two surgeries and I am glad that both went excellently well. Without a problem. Not often does that happen to me. In the morning, me and my future-co-registrar took over of my new unit (from November 1st). It promises be one hell of a busy post with lots of unncessary and stupid chore-work in the offing.

Party and then Razz

It was the post-ending party. I wanted to badly get to Razz where there was a fantastic concert going on. S. and I were supposed to go there together. But because of the predicament, I couldn't help it. I tried my very best to get out of this party that our professor was throwing. But finally decided that I won't disappoint my colleagues.

The party was at a upmarket club in one of the poshest areas of the city. It had a brilliant gym, spa, swimming pool and what not. The dinner was really disappointing. But I didn't really want it to be good. I wanted to run away as fast as I could and I did just that. Just after our professor left, I caught an auto and went to Razz. An amazing show by the TAAQ was going on. The moment I had stepped in I knew I had missed a lot.

TAAQ is simply amazing. Everything is different and quality. Loved their songs. After the show, I bought two of their CDs. And then I got some tips from their bassist who had an Ibanez 4 - string bass. I met the band manager who I had run into at the Hard Rock a week back.

Wow, another fantastic night at Razz

Oct 28, 2006

The chat with T.

It's high time I paid some attention to my academics. It is really hard to keep up with an alter-career. Even without one, it is hard to manage life in such a hospital. This is the fact that I discussed with T. in the night. It was very odd; the time of the conversation that is. At around 1.30 AM. Our hospital community is very conservative. Generally, guys and girls, unless married, are not supposed to hang out in rooms at that time of the night. So when T. comes in, I can't close the door. I have to leave it open to prove to the world that we don't have fling at it. Come on guys. Open your eyes. I'm gay. She's straight. And yet?

Anyway, we talked a lot about the conflicts that I have had. My basic question about myself was whether I wanted to invest my time and money in my alternative career when things are really not going so smoothly with my band members. She made me convince that if I felt so, I should go for it. But without ditching my medicine altogether. The point that she stressed is that she can't take decisions for me. That has to be solely my responsibility.

Besides, I think I'm more peaceful when I'm writing on my blog. My feelings kinda open out and that keeps me charged. That's why I'm trying to put in entries for all these days.

Oct 26, 2006

Snow Patrol

All these years, I've noticed that there have been bands and songs that impress you so much for a short period (at least) that you think that nobody else can make such music. You think so highly of them that they seem to have reached the heights scaled by anyone. Almost become gods of music. But only for a couple of days or perhaps even for a week. This month it has been Snow Patrol, with their single 'Chasing Cars' (which has been on BOB for quite some time). I watched it on VH1 one of these days when I had been at the apartment.

Today, I had gone to Hard Rock to watch a band the 'The Other People'. They didn't sound as good as the last band which played there. But again, the bassist was impressive. I had already seen him play with another band called the 'King Keys'. I met the bassist and got some advice for buying bass guitars. I had gone with PK and another buddy from the hospital after paying back the money that they had borrowed me about a year back.

The night seemed so unrealistically rich when they played 'Snow Patrol' as we were about to leave!

Amazing firecrackers

Not two days since I complained about them firecrackers. Today, I was going to my apartment in the evening and I had to stop at a hotel on the way to grab my dinner. On the road in front of the hotel, kids were lighting up those firecrackers which shoot up like a rocket and explode in the air. Wow, they looked fantastic. So many colours. Brilliant! Those are the only kind of crackers which should be allowed to be made or used.

Oct 24, 2006

The walk-through

It's been about 1 and half years since I moved in to Mumbai and my folks haven't had the faintest of idea about how things looked like here - in my life. I had a brilliant plan to get them 'see' what's happening here. Today was Diwali day holiday. I had some free time in the morning. What do I do? I took snaps on my phone - I went from my room to the apartment to feed the fishes. And then went to Phoenix mills to have coffee at Barista. From there I went back to my hospital to my wards. Then back to room. I got them posted on my Yahoo photos. And then while I was chatting with my folks, I walked-them through my life. They were really surprised in the bad way when they saw the chawl (practically yes) where we have the apartment. Of course, I took brilliant snaps of hospital campus to make them proud. I'll post some of them snaps in here later.

Oct 23, 2006

Webcams, bass and the cube

When I had gone home, I had purchased headsets for me and my parents for voice chatting. They had a webcam already. Today, I had a lot of free time in the afternoon and my sister was at home. I decided to get myself a cheap webcam. So I did. I bought a 'made in china' JVC webcam which looks space-age stuff. The quality of pictures is good I should say. I rigged it all up and we started chatting with webcam. Wow, it was fun. Even better than real phone.

Besides, I've bought my bass guitar from the apartment to my hostel room. I'm using the small shitty Stranger Cube20 for playing. Although I expected the results to be little worse than disastrous, I was pleasantly surprised by the tone I got. It was nice and full and I could practice; in my small room that is. I can practice the way I want to practice - with Tabs, video lessons and songs etc. Whooooooo Hooo!

In the night, me and S. had gone to Marine Drive to watch the firecracker show. It was brilliant. It seemed like the whole of Mumbai was exploding like a brilliant firecracker - do I sound like a Al Quaida trainee?

From there, we went to an expensive Chinese restaurant nearby. The fun thing was that I was the only person in the restaurant who was eating with chopsticks. Even though, it was a long time since I used chopsticks, I was doing okay with it. Everybody was looking at me eating. I even inspired one kid to try them!

Oct 22, 2006

Joining the gym

As a part of an ongoing effort to change my looks, I have joined a gym as well. After taking advices from a couple of colleagues, I joined a gym nearby the hospital where professional trainers give advice. The fee is rock-bottom and so the gym is small and sweaty. Lotsa people work out there and most of them are lower-middle class Marathis. I have started okay. Let's see how it goes. This was really inspired by Sandy who started going to a gym recently to trim herself. Thanks Sandy!

Oct 21, 2006

The wet look

I've been tired of my looks for quite some time time. That's why I tried on the goatee. Similarly, I want to change my hairstyle. Most people I know seem to admire the way my hair combed as it is now. But I want to change it. I want to look like I came out of the shower. That wet look. The saloon which I go to has a barber who seems to be an expert in imported gels and stuff like that. I bought a very expensive gel from him and it is like a charm. I get that wet look for a long time now.

Oct 20, 2006

The night at Hard Rock

Despite the whole confusion regarding flying back, I had an eventful night at the Hard Rock Cafe. It was the first 'Live Band Nite' on thursday. The queerest thing (queer in its purest sense) was that GS called me up and informed about this. Now, that's quite strange. And quite nice of her. But I don't think she knows that I indirectly hate her for stealing most of Xander from me and the band.

A band called Something Relevant were playing. They are an 8 or nine piece band with a Sax, bongos and keyboards. The best part was that they covered the three most popular songs of Dave Matthews Band - Ant's Marching, What Would You Say and Everyday. I thoroughly enjoyed the session while sipping beer on an empty stomach.

During the event I met three important persons in the Mumbai Rock scene. Megh, the guitarist from probably India's biggest alternative rock band, seemed like a very very nice guy. I had a prolonged chat with the manager of 13 rock bands in India. When I told him about our band, he seemed to very interested and gave me his visiting card. The coolest thing was that he used to front a band which covered Alice in Chains and Stone Temple Pilots. I also met the bassist of India's biggerst metal band and asked him for tips on advice.

Altogether, the evening was eventful. At the end of it all, I was sad to realize that I'll be missing all the fun of live bands on Thursday as my emergency on Thursdays.

Flooding at home

I was attending the morning grand rounds at the hospital when my sister called. I cut the call on the third ring and sent a message back saying that I'll call her later. Within a few seconds she called back. I answered the call and whispered

'I'm on rounds... will call you later.. bye.'

About to hang up, I heard my sister saying with urgency

'No, there is a big problem at home'.


Surprised, I asked her what the problem was.

'The compound wall behind our home fell apart yesterday night in heavy rain. Along with came all the plants and plantain trees in our neighbor's home. Our house is still flooded with about a foot deep of mud and water. Mom and Dad haven't told anybody. Instead they are trying to clear it up by themselves.'

Suddenly I was very worried. Despite my colleagues gesturing me to hang up and attend round, I listened intently to the details of the matter.

<-- Here ends the 'Reader's Digest-ish' part of this post -->

Hahaha... I like that a lot. Maybe I should write to the Reader's Digest with one of my real-life stories.

But don't get mistaken. This actually happened. Yes, my house is flooded. And my folks wanted me to fly down to help them clean up. Just under three days after I came back from my vacation, I had to go back home. I didn't know what to do. I informed my colleagues that I had a problem back at home. I was relieved from the rounds.

I started making phone calls to my friends, relatives and airline agencies. After about an hour and half I was assured by my cousins that they will personally go and assess the situation and reply regarding whether I should come or not. By that time, I and my sister had decided that we both needed to fly down urgently to help my Mom and Dad.

The funniest part of the whole issue was that I couldn't really assess the situation at home; how serious it was, was my presence required or not. That is the biggest problem with staying away from home. You can't really assess the situation back at home. What my parents say, I can't generally trust.

Anyway, by afternoon, the news was in that I didn't need to fly back home after all. My cousins will urgently attend to the matter and my sister will fly down soon to settle things further.

Crazy morning!

Oct 19, 2006

My first ever 'straight' date

This is going to be one post worth cherishing all of my life. A totally gay guy who has only gone on dates/one-night-stands with men goes to a straight date. Don't fall of your seat! I am not turning straight. I'll explain the situation. Calm down!

I was offered by one of my seniors a couple (straight couple of course) passes to a disco at a plush 5 star hotel in an up-market part of the city. He was offered this from a dealer of Smirnoff Vodka on the occassion of the release of it's 'Green Apple Twist' flavour. I immediately called Sandy, Xander's colleague, and my good friend now.

After finishing my work quickly, I travel in a crowded suburban train. In the train, it dawns on me that my undersized, though well-fitting tee and the jeans that I wear might not be the clothes that you are supposed to wear to a disco for a date. When I meet Sandy in front of the enormous gate of the hotel, I am glad that she's wearing a sweater that's not so tight as to make her breast look humungous. I was very relieved to find that she also seemed under-dressed for the occassion.

We holded hands for a brief period of 2.3 seconds until I realized that I was extremely uncomfortable. After that, through out the date, we didn't even touch each other. The disco was not as cool as I thought it would be; it too seemed under-dressed for the occassion! We ordered for a couple of vodkas and started talking about a lot of different things. I was constantly looking at the crowd and checking out the page-3 crowd and their dressing styles. There were a couple of extremely hot looking power-daddies 'chilling' out with women about 30 years younger.

Apart from the various things we discussed, a couple of topics are worth mentioning. I was almost shocked to hear that Sandy was going to a gym regularly for a few weeks now. That sort of hit me a like a slap on my face. Why wasn't a skinny gay guy going to a gym when his straight girl-friend was? I discovered over my fourth, and her second vodka, that Sandy was a voracious reader. That also inspired me. At around 12 midnite, we decided to call of our unheralded first date.

On my way, I realize that suddenly Sandy had become on of my closest friends and inspirer. Thanks Sandy!

Oct 18, 2006

The day out with E-boy

The day after I touched down in Mumbai, I was on leave. That day was actually my emergency. I wanted to have adequate rest before I joined back. Had I joined back on Monday itself, I would have been drained after my long night out with Xander and E-boy That wouldn't be an ideal re-start to my work at the hospital.

Now, I and E-boy. had to go back to his home because Xander had so uncaringly planned a night in bed with his girl-friend GS. On that note, I don't know if I have ever mentioned about her on this. She's been around for about 6 months right now and I think the problems with me and Xander have increased after she came into the scene. I'll post about that relationship, which I think is creating significant problem in my life with the band.

So, after sleeping at E-boy's uncomfortably warm apartment, we get ready to hang-out in the city. We leave his apartment with the idea of searching a 5-string bass for me. We catch a Rick which takes us through an amazing piece of property; a totally virgin green island in the middle of the city with trekking tracks etc.

We find the guitar shops late in the evening but weren't fortunate enough to see any five string bass of our liking. After doing that, we hang out at an absolutely shitty mall near the station which, for its size, is provided with 2 way escalator for the four floors.

In the night, the band finally meet at Xander's place and jam. We do a recording with loads of variety and I end up recording about 2 hours of unedited vintage live recordings; the sort that I love to listen to after a couple of months.

At the end of it all, I pack by bag and head back to my room in the hostel. I would be joining work a few hours later.

Oct 16, 2006

Back to Mumbai

Yes. I'm back to the city of dreams. After a day with my band mates and another jam session, little seems to have changed since the time left; when I had hopes, I guss too far-fetched even by my standards, of rejuvenating the whole idea of working out a succcesful band. Yes, I realize that I'm being negative and pessimistic about this. But I too have some expectations. I want to live my dream. And I want that badly.

I did a lot of different stuff during my vacation. Stuff like hanging out with my friends, reading books, watching movies, cruising, sex, travelling, listening to music etc. But the most memorable moments during this trip are worth blabbering about.


  • Ray's affair - I have not mentioned this anywhere on this blog yet. But it is true. Ray has a deeply rooted crush on a 50 something married farmer with drinking and smoking issues. They had met about 3 months back. They spent a couple of days together (without having sex; the man doesn't yet know that he's being hit on by Ray) including getting drunk once. Since then, Ray has been keeping in touch through the mobile phone with this guy. The present status is that Ray has tried to open out to him about the 'crush' element to this guy who is bent on ignoring that angle to the relationship. They still get in touch via the phone. But still sort of evading the obvious.

    If you ask me why this is interesting.. well, um... yeah.. This is the first time Ray and I collectively had such a problem. This is deeply rooted emotionally. At least, from Ray's point of view. Not just sex. The daily see-saws in the relationship are very very interesting.


  • X-men + Sci-Fi - I watched 'X-men: The Last Stand', '2001-A space Odyssey', and 'Solaris' and read (partially) a couple of books by Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke. The X-men movie was really interesting with the concept of mutants, supermutants and Homo superior hitting me hard! Wow! Really interesting! It ignited my interest in Sci-Fi again and thats why I ended up with reading those books. Sci-Fi is big time back in my life baby! Now, I want to watch X-men 1 and 2 desperately.


  • Then was the couple of days where I hung out with my friends over dinner and drinks. I had Gin and Brandy for the first time in my life. I liked the feel of it. Now, I can see the this as the turning point in my life where I succumb to drunkenness!


  • I read a lot about bands which inspired me a lot over the past few months. The story of 'Seether', the South African band inspires me a lot! After reading up their story and listening to their music, I really feel like we can be the next Seether.


  • Significantly (from my POV), I mastered an skill (or art as I wish to refer it to as) in sex during the time I was with Mr. Lion!



Yet, with all this good things happening. I'm unhappy with the fact that my dream is still left unattended to in terms of realization. I hope, and really really wish, that things would better of in that front.

Oct 11, 2006

Back at God's Own Country for Sex

Yes. I'm back home. For a brief vacation. I flew in on Friday evening. I've caught up with the most important persons in my life in Kerala. Ray. Chuck. Dr. R. Mr. Lion. My parents. Yeah, they are important too.



Since the time I was in the airport for boarding the flight, I distinctly felt the 'sex' in the air when Keralaites, or 'Mallus' as they are fondly referred to as in North India, are around. I saw about 5 haute Dads on the aeroplane whom I could have had sex.



Then, after I reached home, I exchanged pleasantries with folks. They expressed their happiness after seeing the stuff that I had bought them. By the way, I had bought my Mom sarees. An electronic 'shruthi box' was what my Dad got.



From the first morning of my vacation, the only thing that was on my mind was sex. I went out for cruising in a movie. I went on bus rides hoping for sex. I even went out for strolls to see hot Mallu Dads. I'm so preoccupied with sex these days. But the place seems like it itself is preoccupied with sex.



How else can you explain this!